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Ok more details, I am a single mom of a beautiful 4 year old boy who has never met his dad. I have tried to get his dad to meet him but at this point it is just not working. I need help with what to say to my son, I want him to have a response when kids ask him where his dad is. Help please? Thank you!

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loganq2

Asked by loganq2 at 7:16 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • Be truthfull. His Dad is a dead beat Dad.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:19 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • When he asks questions, I would just tell him that his father is just not ready to be in his life right now. He's just not ready. I would answer any other questions he may have with as much broad answers as I could. Good luck!
    QueenMomma2023

    Answer by QueenMomma2023 at 7:20 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I would tell him that he isnt ready to be a dad. I would make sure he knows that you love him and whoever else important in his life that is around does too. Dont bash his bio dad. Let him figure out (as he gets older) what kind a person he is. As he asks questions answer them appropriate for his age level. Good luck :)
    kjbennett26

    Answer by kjbennett26 at 7:23 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I like what QueenMomma said to a point. Tell your son that he isn't ready to be a daddy yet because its such a big thing to be. Maybe this experience will help him when he's older to not become a daddy too young. Don't bad mouth the father though, because then the kid will either resent you or think the dads a jerk and will never want to meet him.
    an-apple-a-day

    Answer by an-apple-a-day at 7:24 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • kids don't ask this question with the same thinking that adults do - you don't have to give him an adult response or understanding right now. to him i agree with QueenMomma - make sure he understands that this is not a fault of his and you don't need to create negativity in him towards his father - he will make up his own mind in many years. as for helping him respond to other children a simple "he doesn't live with us" should suffice. the kids aren't trying to analyze him or make judgements, they just have dads and haven't seen his... it's just the same as asking if he has a pet or transformers...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 7:25 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • My son always told them.."I don't have one."...he never cared and was blunt and to the point. I never had to tell him what to say.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 7:26 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I should also add. When he was 4, a little girl asked him where his daddy was. He said, I don't have one. The little girl said, Yes you do, everyone has one. My son insisted, But, I don't. She stopped questioning him. LOL
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 7:30 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • BradenIsMySon: I hope my son does the same.
    wenona_mandy

    Answer by wenona_mandy at 8:16 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • i would tell him like i told my son i told my son baby i honestly am not exactly sure where ur dad is but u have me and ur sisters and ur grandma and grandpa and i am ur mom and dad so now when people ask who his dad is he will say my mom
    momof4onesApup

    Answer by momof4onesApup at 9:27 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • but yes deff do not bash him infront of your son that is not a good thing
    momof4onesApup

    Answer by momof4onesApup at 9:28 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

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