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2 Bumps

after 16 years im still mad at my husband for getting our kids baptize how can i get over it?

 
xochil885

Asked by xochil885 at 8:15 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (4 Credits)
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Answers (19)
  • It honestly sounds more like you're upset, not that he had them baptized, but because you feel he wasn't on your team. He didnt stick up to his mother about the fact that IF your children were going to be baptized it would be something you both would be on board for. Maybe you need to talk to him and let him know that you still really feel undermined by the fact that he made a decision about BOTH of your children without your consent. Does he still do things where he takes his mothers side instead of yours? If so maybe you are just harboring all of that anger as well into that one act and you two really need to talk it through so you can work through it together just like how you two should've worked through the decision for the baptism together. The healing needs to be a team effort.
    Jezzeria

    Answer by Jezzeria at 9:38 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • you need to ask yourself...has this in any way changed how your children are or who they are? A baptism is a ceremony that only means something if they believe in it.
    You could be blessed by a shaman and unless you believe it that ritual, it won't have any effect on your life.
    this seems like a petty issue and something you really need to move on from.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:18 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Sounds like you should be more mad that he sided with mommy than considering your feelings. He needs to cut the apron strings.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:26 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Even if it's not you're religious bielf, it won't hurt you children, in anyway, or effect them really at all other than that day. I understand being upset that they don't seem to be taking your opinion into consideration , but I don't think that it's worth being mad about for so long or getting a divorce over
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 8:29 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Eh. It's just water. If it means nothing to your kids, then it shouldn't really mean that much to you. I understand being upset back when it happened, but 16 years later? Focus on positive. Don't hold on to the past like that.

    =/
    Razelda

    Answer by Razelda at 8:31 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I'd like to say time will heal all wounds but 16 years is a long time to be holding in all that anger. It's just a religious symbol with WATER. If he still goes against your wishes on other matters that's one thing, but if this is his only sin (pardon the religious reference) then let it go already.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 8:36 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Honestly, the way I see it, is there isn't anything different about a child when they're baptised. You're supposedly sprinkling "Holy Water" over the child's head while saying prayers, but in all honesty it's nothing more then a bath to me. It doesn't make them religious, it doesn't make them a different child. It just blesses them in the eyes of those who are religious. I was baptised as a child and I chose my own path of belief. I'm not religious at all and my parents still are. So see.. There's nothing about it that makes any difference.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 8:56 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I don't see the big deal, ESPECIALLY after 16 years. We had our children baptised for purposes of family tradition. Neither DH or I practice any religion either. I think you need to just get over it.

    KairisMama

    Answer by KairisMama at 9:57 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Why were they baptised if you didn't want them to be? Unfortunately I think it is something that will bother you forever. Sometimes there is no getting over things. You may forgive but you will never forget.
    QandA

    Answer by QandA at 8:17 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • You know they can get baptized at 16 right, then it's actually thier choice which makes it more meaningful
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 8:18 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

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