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3 Bumps

Falling out of love...

Has it happened to anyone? I'm wondering if that's what's been up with me this last year or so. It's been problems with us for a while now, him and his internet whores, me sick of fighting and not trusting him when he's on the computer every minute of every day (changes his passwords all the time, etc). We have like no common interests except our children. We don't have sex and at first it really bugged me, but now I'm glad I don't have to touch him in an intimate manner. I tried to talk to him before, told him that for our sake we're better off co-parenting and keeping things on a friendship level but he doesn't understand. He's obsessed with me to the point of getting emotional when I talk about splitting up, and I just can't do it anymore and can't stay with him for the sake his emotions. Ugh I just want out =( Anyone been in this situation? What did you eventually do?

 
Nanixh

Asked by Nanixh at 8:40 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Level 30 (42,521 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • I would talk to him seriously about it, no matter how upset he gets (it sounds harsh but it has to be done!) and then I'd take a trial separation. If neither of you feel any different after a period apart then maybe it would be better to co-parent as friends, because children can pick up on a negative relationship between their parents, which you wouldn't want. You can't stay together for the kids, or just to prevent him from getting upset, sorry. Good luck.
    losing_control

    Answer by losing_control at 8:42 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Love is an action not a feeling so you can't fall out of it. You can lose it when one or both of you are showing love.

    His actions are not showing that he loves you no matter what crap is coming out of his mouth. If he truly wants to stay together, he needs to show that he loves you and that may mean changes that will come hard to him. You both need counsiling. If he won't agree to that, then he is in denial that he is partly at fault in this issue.
    However, if he will go, that is one step to getting better in your relationship with each other as well as yourselves in general.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 8:43 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I once fell out of love with a guy I was with for almost 5 years. We just grew apart and were not right for each other. We both wanted different things in life, so I drifted away. It happens.
    buzymamaof3

    Answer by buzymamaof3 at 9:14 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • it seems u are the one in love here. if he truely valued your feelings and your relationship he would not be talking to these women. from what i have read he is very non-chalant about this situation. he gets emotional when u bring it up because he want's to AVOID the confrontation. my advice is to plan an exit strategy; life is too short. what if u die in 3 years from now??? wouldnt u prefer that u spent your last days happy than unhappy???
    maya123

    Answer by maya123 at 11:29 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I haven't been in that situation but if you've been trying and he hasnt,, there's no reason to stay. Good luck hon.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 8:46 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I'm not looking to make it work, I'm wondering what those people who have been in my situation before have done. I think I just need to pull away and distance myself little by little.
    Nanixh

    Comment by Nanixh (original poster) at 9:19 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I think you need to get out or just have an open relationship. If he has his internet whores, then maybe you should find your own boy toy.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 8:51 PM on Oct. 19, 2010