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"I don't like you!"

Recently my daughter (5 yrs) has started telling me that she doesn't "like me" and that I am "being mean" to her. She says this when she has been disciplined. For instance, tonight, I asked her calmly to do something and three times she didn't follow directions. When I finally had to get stern with her and tell her that if she didn't follow directions that I would have to take something away from her, she looked right at me and said, "You are being MEAN. I don't like you!" This made me very upset, but instead of yelling, I quickly tucked her in to bed, told her that what she said was wrong and that isn't how we talk in this house, and then I told her good night. Does anyone have any suggestions about what I should say/do when this happens again?

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Asked by audreykeyes at 9:48 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 2 (10 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • You handled it very well I think.

    I would just try to treat her as if she said it to someone who was visiting in your home. She should learn to treat you with as much respect as she would a stranger in the home. So think about it, if she said this to a visitor how would you handle it? Do the same and explain to her that you are her mother and NOT to be talked to in this way. She can dislike the chores or being disciplined...but she is never to speak to you in that manner.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 9:54 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • she is just doing what other kids do to each other. I wouldn't take it to heart. you were right to tell her that's not how we talk to anyone. my son does this from time to time. he tell me I'm being mean and I say in a calm voice now that's not nice to say, and if he says it again then I say. yes your mommy is the meanest, you have a mean mommy. after I say this he always says ok ok I sorry your a nice mommy.


    Answer by northcarolinama at 9:57 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Tell her if you are being mean then you are doing your job!

    Answer by happychic at 10:26 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • This is probably just a stage. If you tell her you are going to take something away, follow through.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:33 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • You did fine. I also used to calmly say someting like "I'm sorry you feel that way right now" and just go on with things. GL

    Answer by elizabr at 8:17 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I always say that if they think I'm being mean, then I'm finally doing it right. Then I grrr at them.

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:15 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I asked my DD if it was me she didn't like/hated or what I was doing. She responds with 'I don't like what you are doing'. I then tell her that I didn't like what she did and that if she gives me what I want (a well behaved child, and you define here what you want) then I will give her what she wants (rewards and such)

    Answer by unicornnymph22 at 1:01 AM on Nov. 11, 2010

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