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What can I do.

I had a PPO on an abusive ex, we were together for about 5 yrs and have 2 children together. He went and put in to have it terminated and won because he hadnt been abusive in the past 4 years that we werent together, DUH!! I left him, thats why he hasnt abused the kids or smacked me around, but the judge that it was funny, the judge wouldnt listen to what my son had to say that would have testified as to what we endured, better than an email or anything else could have, furthermore, didnt know i needed a lawyer for this, although he had one. I didnt need a lawyer to place the ppo order?? Anyway, Now its terminated, I live in fear because now he lives so close to us and God forbid he has a bad day... I dont know what to do. I recieved papers from his lawyer about setting up a parental rights/visitation and they say if I agree to them, then we wont have to go to court and he (his lawyer) can put in for this to be legit. Options?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 PM on Oct. 19, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Well, you can try to file for another restraining order however if there is no recent history, it may not stick.
    I don't know about the extent of the previous abuse, but if he can demonstrate that he has reformed, it may be worth letting him have a shot at being daddy. I would definitely get your own legal advice though and just take it baby steps at a time. Don't let his lawyer rush you into anything.

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 10:47 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • I'd like to add, too, that a piece of paper is not going to prevent him from "having a bad day". Not to scare you, exactly the opposite -- if he really wanted to hurt you/your children, he would have attempted to do something whether there was a restraining order or not.

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 10:49 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • Due to his history of and abusive ex, even I would be uncomfortable letting him have visitation on his own. See if there is any way you can get a supervised visitation for at least for a while. That way you will feel better about the whole situation. If he starts up again, you can always get another PPO on him.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 11:45 PM on Oct. 19, 2010

  • 1st do not agree with anything or sign anything...make them take it to court but you need to file a response asking for a hearing in the matter right away (you only have 30 days normally to do this or they will file a default and give it to him ...the judge for family services is different than one for PPO's also bring in the original documents fromt the PPO and how long it remained active. Make sure you ahve everything well documented and any and all courts he had to go to in the past for DV. The judge may allow visitation however it needs to be with Supervision so you need to be very animate about it...also request witness statements (noterized) and ask for a court counselor interview with your children. It makes the length of time longer before the judge can issue a judgement. Remember though never ever interupt the judge or the lawyer or your X in court or he will find you in contempt and issue a judgement without malice

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 12:00 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

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