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I'm getting nervous/anxious about having 2 kids...

My son & daughter will be 25 months apart. I KNOW I can "handle" 2 kids, but do you ladies have any advice? Like... how can I prevent my toddler from being jealous? How do I keep my toddler on his schedule and balance the unpredictability of a newborn? I really want to keep my son happy after his sister arrives, and I don't want ANYONE to feel stressed. Any advice, opinions & stories are appreciated! Thank you! :)


Asked by crazysocks830 at 4:24 PM on Jul. 3, 2008 in General Parenting

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Answers (6)
  • I had the same anxieties as you have. My daughter would not allow anyone to do anything for her except for mommy, but she actually adjusted very well to new baby. Just allow big bro to help out and it makes him feel like a big boy and mommy's helper. We also let my daughter buy something special for the baby we let her pick it out and everything so she was so excited when he finally got here because she had been waiting for months to give him his nes blanlket. And, I also used a sling with 2nd baby and I don't think we could have made it without it. The sling frees up your hands so you can still go about and get things done and it also gives the new baby the contact and closeness it needs with you. Once you have the new baby everything just falls into place. I personally think it's harder now that they are 2 and 4 lol!!! Good luck and try not to stress over it to much!!!

    Answer by redtang912 at 8:16 AM on Jul. 4, 2008

  • A baby sling saved my life when my daughter was born. My son was older (4) than yours at the time but having her in the sling allowed me to take care of him while holding her. She would nurse or sleep in the sling while I did what was needed (shopping, playing at the park, cloring, cleaning, cooking, etc).

    Also, include your toddler in taking care of the baby. Have him hand you diapers and wipes when you're changing your daughter. Have him help you pick out baby clothes. Have him sing to her. My son bought a toy (well, I bought it but he picked it out) for my daughter to welcome her into the world. A cute little teddy bear.

    The biggest thing is to always make sure to tell him how much you love him and what a great big brother he is.

    Answer by amethystrse at 4:30 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • My boys are 26 months apart. My oldest son never showed one minute of jealous and he and his little brother are best friends to this day. It's scary how well they do get along. We always made sure he felt included, he helped us change the baby's diaper, wash the baby's feet during bathtime,etc.Before David was born, we took Connor shopping and let him pick out a toy for his new brother. Your older child's routine is going to be rearranged for a while, adding a new baby to the house tends to get everyone's routine out of whack. I recommend the book "On Becoming Babywise" by Dr.Gary Ezzo because it teaches you how to get your baby on a routine so she is more predictable and things might not be so chaotic. You will be able to plan naptimes and feeding times to minimize stress and maximize rest, must for Mommy. This book was a lifesaver for me! You can get from or ebay.


    Answer by Bethsunshine at 6:35 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Another thing that REALLY helped me was powernapping. Whenever I put David down for his morning nap, usually around 9 am, I'd turn the Noggin station on for Connor and I'd unplug the phone and lie down on the couch for a 15 minute powernap. Those were some of the best most refreshing naps ever! All I'd need was those few minutes and I was good to go the rest of the day. I did that the first couple of months after David was born and it really helped!

    Answer by Bethsunshine at 6:36 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Get books on a new baby (Arthur's new sister, little Critter, there are a ton. You do have to edit the words in some because the kids can be mean or jealous and I never taught my son that. I don't recommend Cailou because the ILLUSTRATIONS are bad)

    Answer by TXdanielly at 9:59 PM on Jul. 3, 2008

  • Mine are two 1/2 yrs apart. we make a special day for my oldest that me and my SO go out and do things with her. Sometimes they do get jealous of each other but we try to even things our for them. I also have her help me do BIG GIRL things with her baby sister. it makes her feel needed and very responsible for her age.

    Answer by mommy-in-pink at 10:28 PM on Jul. 3, 2008