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Tell him or keep it to myself?

There's a man I've known for the past couple of months or so and I developed feelings for him pretty quickly and we lost touch for a little while but recently started talking again.
Well, he literally JUST got a girlfriend and he doesn't exactly sound thrilled about her, so my questions is, I just sat and typed out an email to him last night, telling him how I feel about him and why and I've been debating whether or not to even send it to him b/c I don't wanna seem selfish, but I feel like I'm short changing myself if I don't let him know how I feel.
I really don't wanna ruin our friendship b/c of this....what should I do?


Asked by Anonymous at 9:10 AM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Always remember, that if you want to date, or be in a have to allow yourself to be vulnerable sometimes & you writing that email makes you vulnerable, which is OK & can be a good thing. People put too many walls up which makes it hard to let anybody in. You have to eventually drop your walls when you're interested in someone. I say send the email. Two things could happen....he could tell you he feels the same way, or he could ignore you or tell you he doesn't feel the same way. BUT, at least you'll know where he stands & that is HUGE!


    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:17 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • IMO as long as no one is MARRIED or should always tell someone how you never know what could come of it....

    Answer by mamagee1218 at 9:13 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • if you like him, why not tell him? the worse that can happen is he doesn't reciprocate. you'll never know until you try. if he doesn't feel the same, you can move on to another.

    Answer by dullscissors at 9:13 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • uhh...she never said she was married Evelyn....

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:18 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • evelynwest... she didn't say she is married.

    Personally I agree that you should send it. If he doesn't feel the same way then you CAN still be firends... it may be odd for the two of you, but it does and can happen. I have dated my friends, we ended it by choice together and remain friends. But if you are still not 100% certain, then keep it for a while and see what happens.

    Answer by Memigen at 9:19 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I agree with an above post. As long as he's NOT married or engaged, I'd tell him. Although, I'd prob do it in person. As him to go out for coffee. Then if he accepts, you know he's at least interested in the friendship and you can also gauge how he feels before you might bring it up.

    Answer by MrsDAP at 9:21 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • its hard. but are you willing to maybe lose the friendship? reason being, i think you should tell him, but be prepared worse case scenario if he doesnt feel the same way.. another issue is it may make it awkward between you if hes not in the same boat.. I think you should take a risk, but not sure how extensive and deep your email is. why dont you just talk to him and say i like you. that was you can see his reaction. that way he knows you like him and you havent confessed your undying love to him for nothing..

    He may actually like you back. so I think you should tell him your feelings. short and simple may be just enough :) goodluck ..

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 9:22 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • i say go for it like memigen said it happens alot where they stay friends no matter what the outcome

    Answer by momof4onesApup at 9:24 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • He has a girlfriend and that means he is in a relationship. Guys don't typically stay in relationships they aren't thrilled with. If he really does not want to be with her then he won't be for long. I would not advise trying to break up a relationship. I doubt everyone saying it's okay to do that would like it if that happened to them and it's not a very adult thing to do anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Tell him how you feel its the best way.

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 10:21 AM on Oct. 20, 2010