Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

4 Bumps

What do you think the responsibilities for the mother of the groom are, money-wise?

My future daughter-in-law asked me how much money I could contribute for her wedding to my son. She is out of college and working. He has gone back to college, and works part-time. I told her I would host the rehearsal dinner and would include all out-of-town guests, so it's more of a both families getting a chance to know each other-which is the tradition in my family. And I will give them a week at a very nice resort of their choice (it's my Hilton timeshare). I Thought I was being very generous. She wasn't pleased, and said that her parents are giving her money ($7,000) and that she thought I would do the same.


Asked by SweetLuci at 10:22 AM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 33 (61,712 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • I actually have no idea what is traditionally done or expected. Hubby and i waited for our tax return and paid for our own- we were BROKE but somehow managed to drive to Laughlin NV from Phoenix, and for 200 dollars got married and a limo ride to and from the hotel and the pictures at a little chappel there
    my mom gave us 20 bucks his mom gave us 50 I think and my sister paid for our hotel room for two nights.
    I bought a dress for 20 bucks and he wore pants he already ahd and a 10 dollar shirt.
    It always amazes me to watch shows about weddings and see how much money people's insane. I / We never asked anyone to do anything for our wedding

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 12:05 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think couples should expect to pay for the wedding themselves. Anything their parents want to give is nice, but not required. I think you are being very generous and she is ungrateful and selfish.

    Answer by andrea96 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think nowadays the couple should be footing their own bill. We don't live in the times of dowries anymore! If you want to help the couple,give them a generous check as a wedding gift

    Answer by butterflyblue19 at 10:25 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • It is not anyone's responsibility but the bride and grooms and if you get any from either side is a blessing and if that is not enough, I think it is pretty selfish to demand. You are giving what you can and so is her mother, different capacities to contribute that is all.

    Answer by older at 10:27 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • None, they should pay for their wedding.

    If she is not happy with what she is getting then retract what you are giving because in her eyes it’s will never be enough.

    I can smell trouble.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 10:28 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I've always heard the groom's side is responsible for the flowers, tuxes, and honeymoon. Not sure what else, but it's usually not as much as the bride's side.

    The bride is sounding selfish.

    Answer by anng.atlanta at 10:25 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Holy crap...ill be lucky if we get ANYTHING from his side for our wedding. Or mine at that...we are completely financing it ourselves!! It sucks and its hard happens! I think its ludacris to EXPECT people to do anything from you. What you offered was a wonderful gesture and I would aprreciate it whole heartedly. Tell her to quit being a brat...

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 10:27 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I personally believe the people who are responsible for the wedding is the bride and groom and no one else. Sure if they get money for the wedding gift they can use that to pay off the loan if they took one out but if two people want to get married they should pay for it themselves. That way they can learn to manage money. If they truly want to get married and love each other they should have no problem saving money. Why should any other family member pay for it if the couple may divorce a year later or won't even bother staying together very long?

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • i did not ask anything of my MIL. She offered. She made the down payment on my wedding dress. She paid for for one of the nights for our cabin ($300.00)...she took me to get my hair and nails done...and they gave us 1500 dollars in a card at our reception. His parents were so nice. I would have never asked..that is just so so rude but i loved how involved my mil was and i appreciated everything she did to help

    Answer by shay1130 at 10:35 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • She's being selfish. My in-laws paid for our reception hall, and hosted the wedding at their home. My mom did the catering for the wedding. My dad made the arch we got married under, and gave us a two hundred dollar check. We paid for our own honeymoon and used the money we were given for much needed household things. This day and age, it is the bride and grooms responsibility to pay for everything. We got lucky that our families were so willing to help us out. If she's not grateful for what you offer, I wouldn't pay for anything really. What does your son have to say on the matter?

    Answer by BisketLiss at 10:27 AM on Oct. 20, 2010