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Would I be wrong?

I posted this in relationships too, just so you know you're not having Deja Vu. My boyfriend is very emotionally unsupportive. He supports me and our son [4.5 months] financially but is just NOT there emotionally. When I cry he tells me to stop acting like a child and get over it, even if its a good reason! We had a "whirlwind courtship" and then I got pregnant and we moved in together. Would I be wrong to ask him to move out? I want to still be with him as b/f and g/f but he's driving me so insane right now that I'm 2 inches from leaving him. I don't want him to have to be away from his son because he loves him TONS but I don't know if I can take this anymore. I need someone there for me!

Answer Question
 
AidensMommy608

Asked by AidensMommy608 at 8:30 PM on Oct. 28, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 6 (140 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Point blank....you have to do what you feel is right for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • just explain to him u need a little time alone. Try not to get in a fight over it tell him b4 u talk u just want to have an adult convo
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • When I tell him I want to have a serious conversation, he tells me I'm impossible to talk to because I'm immature. He thinks I'm immature because I cry, and I only cry because I'm so hurt he wont talk to me!! Its a vicious [sp?] cycle!!!
    AidensMommy608

    Answer by AidensMommy608 at 8:41 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Some men just don't show their feelings. It was drilled into them by their fathers/mothers that boys/men don't cry and that they aren't to "be a girl". You have to accept him for this fault, and if you can't then you need to not be with him at all. I am married to one of these kind of men, and after 7 years of marriage, he still does not show emotion. BUT he will bring me home things that he knows that I enjoy just because, and that is how he shows that he loves me. Not every woman can handle being married/with a man like this.
    MarshaB702

    Answer by MarshaB702 at 8:43 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • You ask him to move out your relationship is over. And honestly if you guys can't live together how to you plan to go to the next step!
    raybell

    Answer by raybell at 8:58 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • back off I dont know if you take extra care of him or not but dont serve him dinner or baby him or go out of your way to make him happy show him that you can do it without him and if he shapes up great but if not at least you tried thats all you can do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I would tell him your expect more from a relationship and telling you to grow up isn't helping. maybe you should be apart to make sure this relationship is what you both want. see what he has to say.
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 11:26 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Some men seriously just don't know HOW to deal with emotion. They feel helpless when they see you upset because they don't understand it and don't know what to do. They communicate on a completely different level. I read somewhere once that women come from a place of emotion and men tend to come more from a place of logic. Counseling could help you to understand each other and learn some new ways to communicate that work for both of you.
    mrswright1170

    Answer by mrswright1170 at 11:46 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Both your need for closeness and his need for independence can't be simplified to "he's a big meany who doesn't appreciate you," or "you're a clingy gal who is feeling stuck and unappreciated" Most likely it falls somewhere in the middle.

    A person who is demanding emotion from you doesn't put you in a place to want to be emotionally connected, since they have all the appeal of a firing squad, the person who is feeling emotionally abandoned doesn't feel like anything will change unless they demand it.

    Unfortunately the emotion you get by asking for out of another person is rarely what you hope for. He may very well be sharing emotion, it's just not the emotion you want from him. You can figure out ways to elicit the emotion you want, although telling someone how you want them to feel and thus behave isn't a particularly effective way of getting there.
    Kestrel1

    Answer by Kestrel1 at 12:34 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I say pull up the big girl panties look him straight in the eye and tell him the deal! You are unhappy, life is short, you love him and want him to be with his son but if he refuses to meet you half way then see ya!
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 2:21 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

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