Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to deal with my MIL wanting my son alone with her?

My MIL always wants to spend time with my son which would not be a problem at all if she would not always want to do it when im not around. But now because I have an issue with that she wants to keep in over night and he is only 15 months old and my first. Any advice on what I should do. Im trying really hard to be a good DIL but I really am getting uncomfortable with the fact that she wont be around me and my son only my son.

Answer Question

Asked by RyansMommy0709 at 11:33 AM on Oct. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (22 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Honestly, I think she needs to just accept it.. do NOT do it if you are not comfortable and just be open and honest. I had to do that with my MIL and we are... civil!! my son is almost 3 and I still haven't let MY mom have him overnight let alone her , and my MIL asks often..I just am not ready to have him away from home... luckily my husband is fully on board and feels the same way about his mom and overnights.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 11:41 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Guess what, this is your baby, and although I'm 49, and hoping for grandchildren soon, and would definitely enjoy having them to myself. I understand EXACTLY how you feel. I didn't leave my babies with anyone at that age....not even my own mother. The first time oldest spent the night at my mother's it was because I ended up hospitalized and having emergency surgery. He was27 months old. I didn't want to leave him.

    And, I was the same with all of my babies, not just the first.

    As a mother in law, I will be happy with whatever time I get with my grandchildren, and be happy to share that time with my DIL's. To be honest as a grandmother, although I'd enjoy all time with the babies, I think I'd be happy that my DIL's love their babies that much that they don't want to be separated from them. Your husband needs to back you up on this. This is your baby, and you MIL, however well meaning, needs to respect that!!!


    Answer by ohwrite at 11:53 AM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • she may just miss having a baby around dont jump the gun and assume the worst just sit and talk to her about it.. some older women get sad when they get babies around and kno theyre child bearing years are over..

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 12:29 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • awww i agree with Kitty Katt,,,,,,

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 12:37 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • You have to set boundaries early on. If it bothers you, don't allow it. He is YOUR child. She has to learn that she has no controll over whatever happens with him. She only gets to be part of his journey. If you give in on this, it'll be other issues down the line. You are the mommy. It's your way or no way at all. If you let this slide, it'll eat you up untill you snap at something harmless. (In my case it was her taking my daughter to the movies when she said they'll be at the zoo) lol. It builds up. Speak your mind from the get-go so you don't harm your relationship later down the line. That's a good DIL.

    Answer by CassyzMom at 7:35 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • you are right to feel awkward about it i would too. She is expecting too much and you should just let her know nicely that you are not comfortable with leaving him with anyone, you will let her know when you are. If she gives you a hard time I like this line "I understand you have a difference of opinion, but this is my choice and I have made it. I am sorry if you do not like it,"

    Answer by sarlove01 at 5:07 PM on Jan. 11, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.