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Do u think the love can come back between us are should we let go.

I've been in a relationship for 15 years my high school sweet heart the first 5 years where great until we started argueing and he started been insercure about my love for him so i got tired of him accusing me of beening with someone else. that i ended up have a fling with another man for 3 years and i regret that i keep this a secret for 8 years from him and it's been eating a me to tell the truth.I finally told the truth to him and he was so hurt by it he ask why did i wait so long to tell him i told him i was scare of losing him because i love him i made a mistake and i want things back the way they used to been .We have a 7 years old in the middle of this.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • you should have taken that to your grave!


    I dont know if love can come back with YOU TWO specifically......... but YES YES YES love CAN come back.... it takes effort on both sides.

    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 12:14 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Is what you told him true? If you love him, work it out. Get Counseling. Go to a Marriage Encounter or some other marriage retreat. Only you can answer whether or not you love this man and he loves you, and if it's worth it.
    mommyx9

    Answer by mommyx9 at 12:14 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think you can get the love back
    TXColter

    Answer by TXColter at 12:15 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • The love can come back with time and hard work. Does he forgive you?
    jshimmy

    Answer by jshimmy at 12:20 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think it would take a lot of work from the both of you. I don't think it's impossible but it won't be east. In reality he might not be able to forget it and things won't be the same again. It happend to my parents and they ended up divorcing. I think you kindof know the answer to the question yourself. You know him better than anyone. So if your gut tells you it's not going to work I'd start talking about how you'll split custody. The worse thing for a child is to listen to their parents fight about the past and always blameing one another for it. I hated it and when I was 15 they finally split up and I was happy to finally have a quiet house with no fighting every evening.
    EJsmom322

    Answer by EJsmom322 at 12:21 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Honestly, Sounds to me like he is never going to trust you, and you are never going to forgive yourself either. So you can stay in this trustless, miserable marriage or you can just give it up, and give your 7 yearold a normal loving home with out all the mommy is a cheater and daddy checked out bs.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Honestly I know I wouldn't be able to move past a 3 yr affair. To me a "fling" would be a one night stand but I know that is just splitting hairs.

    You know your dh better than us though and if you think he can forgive you and move past it then it's definitely worth the work you would BOTH need to put into it.

    All I can say is good luck and PLEASE do not discuss this or argue about this in front of your child it will only make him/her miserable.
    kfroz0415

    Answer by kfroz0415 at 12:41 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I don't know if you can or not. It will probably take counseling at the very least. I am not trying to make you feel bad but why did you have to tell him? What was the reason and what could it possible help? I don't think I could get past something like that, it would just be too hard. If you realized that it was a mistake and still loved your husband you should have never told him. I think that people tell the other person sometimes to relieve themselves of guilt so they can move on. But it is done now, you will have to work on it with him and see if he can get past it.
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 1:04 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Ahh, please stop using the excuse of him accusing you of cheating so therefore you did...that's weak. You cheated because you wanted to cheat. If he accused you of being a murderer would you murder? Take the responsibilities of your actions and let the cards fall where they may.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:12 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Yes yes yes mom2mybabes. Exactly what I was thinking. I think you did the right thing by telling him. He deserves to know. If that happened to me, I couldn't stay married. I would leave and never look back. How does he know you're never going to do that again? Especially if he didn't trust you before you cheated. Not trying to berate you but this is the reality I am thinking of. Counseling or something would help.
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 1:38 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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