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2 Bumps

how can i relax when he is on the phone with his ex wife?

the way she talks to him as if he is dumb. he is very happy in our relationship, and i trust in him he will never go back to that. everytime they talk my anxiety level goes up. i cant stad her.she plays the kids as a tool. im not jelous of her i just wish she wouldnt down point him and just let him go stop trying to control him

 
candeeapple2010

Asked by candeeapple2010 at 12:28 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (10 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I had that EXACT same situation! I couldn't stand the way she talked tomy dh. Like she owned him, just because they had a child she would act as though she had some right to tell him how things were going to be. I always felt like she still treated him as if they were married and he had to worry about how she was going to feel about things. It made me crazy!! He would always try to keep everyone happy but of course this couldn't happen. One time the ex called his cell phone, he was busy and I answered it, we were in OUR home and MARRIED, when I gave him the phone I could actually hear her yelling at him "what is SHE doing answering YOUR phone!" The fact is that it is your husband who has to finally put his foot down. I told my husband and it took awhile but he finally did it. I had to finally say "who would you rather have upset, me or her? remember, you LIVE with me" LOL-
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 12:35 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I understand where you're coming from. You don't want anyone to treat your husband as if he's incompetant. However, if he doesn't stand up for himself then there isn't much that you or anyone can do. He needs to take initiative and say "Listen, I'm an intelligent adult and I don't appriciate being treated otherwise." I understand that she'll probably lash out using the kids, but there's always court if things get out of hand. He just needs to stand up for himself and I think that will help you relax more. Knowing that he's not going to stand for her condesending behavior.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 12:31 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Are you sure you aren't talking about my life?It will not get better until he stands up to her and puts a stop to it.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 12:36 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I would just go outside and try to avoid the situation if possible. It's really between him and his ex about the kids so I would try to stay clear when he's talking to her. I know it's going to be hard but it will be a lot easier on your emotions :o)

    Good Luck!!!
    alyssamal

    Answer by alyssamal at 12:31 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • trust ur man unless hes giving u a reason not too
    Tiffany_Rivera_

    Answer by Tiffany_Rivera_ at 12:38 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Your man needs to learn how to get her to stop. Tell her if she can't treat him with respect then shut up. Have say we are both adults and he's tired of her acting like a child.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 12:32 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Devil's advocate here, but do you actually hear what she says or are you just hearing his side of it?

    Because I'm the ex-wife in my situation and my ex is forgetful as all get out. He breaks promises constantly and refuses to see the kids, but puts ALL the blame for it on Wife 2.0. I have little doubt that when she questions him, he puts all the blame on my shoulders, so he plays us off one another.

    Anytime the kids need something (which is the ONLY reason I call/email/text), I have to nag and pester for 1-2 weeks to get any results, even for something as simple as their medical insurance info (which I can't get on my own anymore because I'm not his wife anymore.)

    If they have kids together, which it sounds like they do, then you're just going to have to step back and let him deal with her and not get dragged into it.
    geminilove

    Answer by geminilove at 12:44 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • See, that there is just way too much drama for me.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • thanks ladies
    candeeapple2010

    Comment by candeeapple2010 (original poster) at 1:00 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Avoid it! Its that simple...why get yourself upset over how your husband ex treats him? He's allowing it to happen and until he stops it, she will continue and you will continue to have anxiety attacks over it...forget it, its not worth it!
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 1:10 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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