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Why is it that feminists feel like SAHMs are setting the motion back?

I hear terms like "just a house wife" or "non-working woman" and it's like feminists are putting down those of us that choose to stay home with our kids... To me feminism is about the having the right to choose to be what ever we want... If I WANT to be a SAHM and full time wife that's my right. SO why is it so bad?

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Asked by SabrinaMBowen at 8:56 PM on Oct. 28, 2008 in Politics & Current Events

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Answers (29)
  • I don't know any feminists that feel this way, and I know a lot of feminists. I'm a feminist AND a SAHM. They're not mutually exclusive.

    Answer by StarLee at 8:57 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I agree with StarLee. I am a SAHM and I know plenty of feminists. None of them would put me down like that. In fact, if I say anything about being a SAHM that might be contrued as putting myself down, they'll correct me. Lol... I do have one friend (if you can call her that) who thinks that I am stupid for giving up my career to stay at home and that I am wasting my life. I would in no way describe her as a feminist.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 9:00 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • no fair generalizing all feminists like that.... you are hearing the speak of femi-nazi's maybe. lol

    but like you said, a real or true feminist would respect any choice a woman makes of her own volition. many probably have a skewed idea that women are forced to sahm by knuckle dragging misogynistic husbands who say me - work, you - baby, which obviously isn't always the case.

    just as it's not fair for you to assume all feminists feel this way, it's not fair for anyone to assume that all sahms are there out of submission.


    Answer by teri4lance at 9:02 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • laughingteri4lance... you're hilarious! "me work, you baby" ROFL!!!


    Answer by brandyj at 9:05 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I think a lot of power/money seeking women seem to forget where the next generations come from. They don't think that being a wifeand mother is a good enough roll modle because we haven't proven our worth in the form of money.......My worth wil be proven 4x over when my boys leave the house. I know they will be independant, hardworking individual because "mama says so"!!!
    My life would be wated if I had to miss out on my kids growing up!

    Answer by how_reb at 9:06 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Interesting twist on this topic... Feminism in America is very different than feminism in Europe. American feminists essentially took the approach that men and women should be the same (in regards to roles and careers) whereas European feminists essentially said that men and women should be equally important. (I am totally watering that down, by the way.) What's interesting about it is that the European approach allows women and men to maintain different roles without that stigma of being "just a wife" or "just a mother".

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 9:08 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Ugh, my own mother is one of the "femi-nazi" types, and just can't understand why I chose to be a SAHM. I am her only child, and I remember her working

    Answer by mamapotter at 9:11 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I agree with the poster....unless we are friends....the ones meeting me for the first time.....act like I don't have anything interesting to say.

    Answer by PsychicSherry at 9:11 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • whoops! I hit the button too early! What I meant to say was I remember her working all the time, and it seemed like I was always at day care. Granted, she was a single mom raising me so she had to work, so I understand, but feeling left behind by her as a kid is some of what made me want to stay home with my kids. She's always telling me I'm "so much smarter than that" or "I had so much potential!" It gets pretty annoying.

    Answer by mamapotter at 9:14 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Mampotter - What a bummer that your mom can't bemore supportive of your choice. Thing is that she probably thinks she IS being supportive. You might reply to her that you ARE living up to your potential, and that you ARE using your smarts, and that it would be nice if she would recognize that from time to time. You might also tell her that you appreciate all she did to raise you and that she did a great job, but you are doing things the way YOU want to. Her opinion of SAHM's is probably colored by the fact that she had no choice in the matter.

    Answer by BlueFrogMama at 9:24 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

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