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Totally shallow stupid question ahead, proceed with caution..

So my male platonic friend confesses last night that he is in love with me and ruins our entire friendship. I hate it when that happens, it's happened to me before...once they've decided they're in love with you, it changes everything, you always feel like you're letting them down, you always know they want more, it's just an uncomfortable burden to place on the friendship. The thing that confuses me is he's fat, very fat..I'm thin, and attracted to thin men. Aren't most people attracted to body sizes that are similiar to their own? It baffles me that he would think I would be attracted to him. That probably makes me a shallow ignorant biotch, but there it is, confusion reigns supreme, I'm bummed he did this to us.. let the bashing begin.


Asked by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Come on now people. She went into this friendship looking for a friend. You do not need to be physically attracted to some one to like them as a friend.
    He changed things when he wanted more, how is that her fault? She is not attracted to him and probably will never be.

    It totally sucks when one person wants more than the other. You can't change your feelings for him, so it might be time to distance yourself from him. Or you will always feel guilty for not liking him in that way especially because you can't change your feelings.

    Good luck. Not being attracted to someone does not make you a bad person.


    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:53 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • WOW...your right...shallow...But people are not attracted to body size. Yes the way someone looks plays a part in it but it is the persionality and them being a good person. I do know how you feel though about his little love confession. That does always ruin a friendship....and its always the better friendships that this happenes to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Yup, you're shallow alright, not because you're attracted to thin men, but because you're baffled that he would even think you'd be attracted to him. Looks aren't everything and apparently not the most important thing in life to your platonic friend. I'm surprised you'd even offer him your friendship since he's fat.

    Answer by MomMom23 at 1:54 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I'm not going to bash you, but I don't believe people are only attracted to their own body types. I have very thin friends who prefer their men on the "burly" side, and heavier friends who prefer thinner men.... And let's not forget, personality counts for something too! However, I do know what you mean, it's hard to stay friends with somebody you know wants more...

    Answer by Anouck at 1:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Aren't most people attracted to body sizes that are similiar to their own? Not at all. Most people are attracted to what's inside.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I had always been thin thin and always liked men with meat on their bones.. so no that's not true but what is true is that yes, you are shallow.. too bad..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:48 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • i wouldnt necessarily say you are shallow just because you have a body type preference. you might be shallow if you dont associate yourself with any "fat" people and think you're better than them. your comment "It baffles me that he would think I would be attracted to him" is a little harsh and conceited, but not shallow. anyway, sorry your friendship has to take this hurtle now and hopefully he'll understand you just want to be friends without things being awkward now.

    Answer by tnm786 at 1:51 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I'm thin and very attracted to big guys. And most big guys have a little extra padding. Doesn't bother me at all. I am much more attracted to big guys with extra padding than I am to very athletic guys who happen to be little.

    Answer by FelipesMom at 1:54 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • You sound so concided that would be like you telling a guy you liked him an he said "what i thought only smart people liked smart people" duh peop[le like who they like my bestfriend weighs like 100pds and all her boyfriends have been at least 250 get a clue its the inside not the outside

    Answer by peace013 at 1:57 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I dont think that people are attracted to their own body type. My husband is considerably larger than I am and I love his body type. I wouldn't say I like bigger guys, but something about him that I just adore. And some guys like larger women. It just depends.

    Answer by Jezzeria at 2:08 PM on Oct. 20, 2010