Why does it always seem like it's the Amom that gets bashed when a question is asked? I just read a comment about 'adoption is only great & wonderful for the amom"...I would think that foster care adoption would be 'great & wonderful' for the child! It's not the Aparents' fault that the Bmom/dad couldn't get there act together and get there kid back!! And if someone CHOOSES to put there child up for adoption...why is that the Aparents' fault??Answer Question
Answer by LizClara at 9:31 PM on Oct. 28, 2008
Answer by mrseum at 9:45 PM on Oct. 28, 2008
Answer by christyg at 10:07 PM on Oct. 28, 2008
Answer by mrseum at 10:15 PM on Oct. 28, 2008
Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 10:33 PM on Oct. 28, 2008
Answer by PortAngeles1969 at 11:06 PM on Oct. 28, 2008
"It's not the Aparents' fault that the Bmom/dad couldn't get there act together and get there kid back!! " You're obviously talking about Foster Adoption here. The fact that Foster Adoption and Infant Adoption, where a mother willingly give up her rights, are discussed under the same "Adoption" umbrella is where the problems occur. Can I also point out "couldn't get their act together" could be construed as bashing.
Answer by onethentwins at 2:39 AM on Oct. 29, 2008
Another thing I've noticed is that there are moms who regularly answer here but belong to none of the many adoption groups. I wonder how far they go to try to educate themselves on adoption issues and feelings.
Answer by onethentwins at 2:41 AM on Oct. 29, 2008
Answer by onethentwins at 2:50 AM on Oct. 29, 2008
The aparents are not bashed for the act of adopting. It's the lack of compassion for the birth family and the effect on the adoptee that they are bashed for. For dismissing the birth mothers feelings. For example "the birth parent is the one giving the child up!!' "If a birth mom regrets her decision later, she only has herself to blame!!" "their bio parents probably gave them up because they couldn't give them that themselves. "
"It's not the AParents fault. I think it's just someone to blame and because the AParents usually are the ones that are thrilled by the arrangement and the BParents are not, so obviously they are to blame, they did something wrong, they were not honest, they are paying into the agencies that "force" BMoms into relinquishing custody, etc., etc., etc. It's ridiculous and quite sad actually!! "
That last one especially "hello!"
Answer by onethentwins at 2:57 AM on Oct. 29, 2008
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