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Am i over analizing this a bit too much?

I have posted about my DH's ex before. She fly's in from time to time, i cannot escape her due to our mutual friends. There will always be functions, & she will fly in because her "best" friend is my DH's best friend's wife, as some of you may already
Anyhow, she didn't come to our wedding, but came to our mutual friends wedding. She brought us a wedding gift, which was a super cool gift. After she left, i felt that i should send her an email & thank her for the gift as i was completely shocked she even got us one, and it was a wicked cool gift. Anyhow, it was a short & sweet email through facebook. She never wrote me nack & well...this may sound real highschool, but it kind of hurt. I finally thought that we were "connecting" but i worry that she only wants to be friends with DH & not me. Like i said, she aint going anywhere. It's either be friends, or drop friends & I'm not willing to drop my friends.


Asked by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • Well, I think you were right to send a thank you for the wedding gift. Maybe she didn't reply because you don't normally reply to a thank you note so I wouldn't read into that. The fact that she even got you a gift when she didn't attend the wedding is a pretty good sign that she doesn't have animosity toward you. I think hoping to be friends with her may be a bit optimistic at this point, though. For you, you are with the man now that she lost, so it is easier for you to be cool with her. She may look at you as the woman who got what she wanted. It may still be a bit of a sore spot for her, given time she may be able to deal with it more easily. I think you stick with being civil and friendly when you see her out at social functions. Always smile and say hello, maybe compliment her top or something, and just let it go from there. You don't have to be friends, you can be acquaintences with mutual friends. Good luck.

    Answer by MaryMW at 2:25 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • so you are upset that she didn't send a thank you email for your thank you? Sounds high school to me

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 2:19 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Normally people do not reply to thank you notes. Maybe she was upset that all she got was a thank you e-mail on Facebook instead of an actual paper note in the mail. Who knows. I wouldn't stress over it.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 2:20 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Some people are like that. If you send a thank you then they think that is the end response. She may not mean anything by it.

    Btu I have to know...what is the wicked cool gift? Please tell!!

    Answer by ria7 at 2:19 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • women are scandilish I am so tired of trusting one and its all ways the same thing smile to your face stab yea when you turn around.

    Answer by peace013 at 2:21 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • You expect a "thank you" to your "thank you?" Where are you wanting this to end?

    I wouldn't stress over it...and who cares if she may not want to be your friend? Just be face-to-face friendly and go on with your life.

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 2:26 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think you're over analyzing it. It was a thank you email, so most people wouldn't respond. Unless you put a question, or something in there that needed to be responded to. I think it's good that you want to be friends with her. Maybe let that develop on its own. If you see each other that much through mutual friends, it will likely happen on its own, there is no need to push it.

    Answer by MeandMyBabes at 2:26 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • just be nice, when she is around, so she can't call you a bitch, and let the relationship develop at its own speed and if it doesn't screw her!

    Answer by blue_glass_mama at 2:27 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • You did ok for emailing maybe she hasn't got around to getting it don't worry about it atleast she knows you've thanked her twice. Don't even sweat it I have done or said stuff that I wish I wouldn't have done but that is just me (us) thinking too much inti it while everyone else are living their everday lives. just blow it off no biggie. Let her get in contact if she ever wants remember your the happy wife in this picture. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:28 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • She is super cool. She is close with a bunch of people i am close with. I don't care that they were in a relationship, DH told me he was not in love with her & he did leave her because of that. They were great friends before they hooked up YEARS ago & decided to stay friends even though their attempt didn't work out. Maybe i shouldn't have sent her the email, now i feel like i kissed her butt.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 2:18 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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