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3 Bumps

How can I get my 5yr old daughter to listen & respect me?

Every day we deal with my daughter not listening, her talking back, tongue sticking out, burping, taking 2hrs to do 2 pages of homework, no respect for us. She's great at school but at home she's a monster. Staying calm & trying to talk nice never works, only laughs at us. Raising our voices works best but I'm afraid it'll only encourage her to keep doing that to us! Just don't know what to do anymore & am so afraid of her future if we don't nip this now. Help!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • Have you tried time out? With our 4 year old, making her sit on the step seems to work best as a punishment. Good luck!

    Answer by AllAboutKeeley at 2:48 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Yes, thank you though. I've tried everything under the sun...or so we thought, obviously not. Have to check out SuperNanny next. Everything is day to day, depending on her mood or boredom level.

    Answer by jodissis at 3:39 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I am really struggling with this right now as well. Same age/same gender child. I have been taking things away. Reading the book love and logick and trying not even to give warnings/chances. It is hard because I have two four year olds as well so sometimes taking away things that mean something (i.e. going to a bday party) may affect them as well. She doesn't have toys, etc. that she is really tied to and doesn't care if I take those away. It is tough and I am so with you - I just don't want to do "damage" and have her grow into a rotten person!!!!! I too feel the need to get this handled NOW!

    Answer by KellyP11 at 9:11 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Ignore it. It's fine to raise your voice, if that's what works.

    Answer by Pnukey at 10:11 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Take away things she likes to do . set her down in time out ...

    Answer by sweethonesty520 at 9:48 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Thanks to all. I have tried all the above advice, sometimes it works, sometimes not. Taking things away & time outs do work but nothing ever seems to STICK in her brain. I have to keep reminding myself she's 5 & going through a big kid stuck in a little kid body phase. Doesn't help that she's very smart. She's a great kid & is wonderful at school or friends' houses is all I ever hear. Just the second something doesn't go her way/perfect or the time of day, "witching hour" I've dubbed (5p), she's a ticking time bomb at home. Think the best thing that I've found is keeping my cool yet being stern. Have read that when we seem to lose control, it makes them feel like no one is in control, chain reaction. Easier said than done but we'll keep working on it. Glad to hear other moms are experiencing the same with this age. She's a Gemini through & through (extrovert side of it).

    Answer by jodissis at 2:49 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • We do two things -
    First, we ignore the bad before so she won't get the reaction from us she wants; use loud voices when it really maters.
    Second, we treat each other (dh and I) with respect as an example; we also treat her how we want to be treated. We always say please and thank you to each other and to her. We also remember to only ask when she has a choice (for example, Go clean your room is different from Can you go clean your room?)

    Answer by at 4:25 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

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