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How do I win him back?

Brief Synopsis- I was engaged to a wonderful guy and was ridiculously happy with him. One day, out of the blue, I decided that being that happy actually made me miserable for the following reasons: 1) I have always been completely independent and self reliant and resented his coming in on his white horse to be my prince 2) I was afraid that I would make him miserable bc I am always trying to prove that I don't need anyone 3) I was afraid that my daughter and I would not be as close now that she had a daddy 4) I just did not want to be a "we" instead of "me" So basically a bunch of stupid selfish reasons...
It's been 7 months, we are still great friends, and still love each other. After a major epiphany yesterday, I know that I do want to marry him and spend my life with him. I don't put much stock in words so I want to SHOW him that all issues are resolved and I want our family back.
But how??? Any ideas on this...

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • Tell him what you told us. Be open and honest with him. Ask for another go at the relationship.
    mommy_of_two388

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 3:47 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I agree with mommy_of_two388. You're going to have to tell him. Yes, actions speak louder than words, and it will probably take a little while to gain his trust back, but the first step is to TELL him you want him back. Good luck!
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 3:49 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think you just need to be honest with him.... I'm sorry you"re going through this
    June_Mama09

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 3:48 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Show him this question!
    older

    Answer by older at 3:49 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Tell him what you said to us.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:50 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • i basically did the same with my dh..when i realized what i had given up i invited him to dinner and spilled my guts to him and told him that i didnt want to be friends that i wanted to be with him in every other way. His jaw literally hit the floor because i know he wasnt expecting me to say that. I apologized for letting him go and told him i just wanted to get my head right and that i wanted my heart to be with one person. (because when i first started dating him i still had my head stuck up my ex's ass) but i let him know that he had my heart and he was the one i wanted to be with. We were together ever since.
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 3:58 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think you should talk to him about it. If you still love each other my guess is that he will welcome with you with open arms.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 3:53 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • If you are still friends explain all of this to him and actions do speak louder than words so continue to show him every day that this is what you want. Be patient with him because that will also show him that you know what you want and are willing to wait for him now. It is probably not something that will just go back to the way it was. I don't think that ever happens you have to work together to improve what you have so that there won't be questions about the relationship again later on. Good luck I hope it works out!
    sue118

    Answer by sue118 at 3:53 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Wow, you basically lived my life...I have said and done the exact same things as you. And just as you did one day I woke up and had an epiphany that all my selfish stupidity is leaving me alone and miserable. I began seeing my now husband and just as you I started freaking out because I am independant and don't want to be committed. So I began making up excuses to not be with him that resulted in me hurting the one man that loves me completely. Thankfully after I came to my senses and told him I wanted him, he loved me enough to come back to me. But let me tell you it wasn't easy. I hurt him real bad and said horrible things to get rid of him. I regret it all because I didn't really mean any of it. He forgives me and we are great now, but I know my words still haunt him now and again. Just have a heart to heart. Thankfully you two still communicate. Explain yourself honestly on why you were scared. I bet he wont say no:)
    Roisin07

    Answer by Roisin07 at 3:57 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • You could always go over and put on a dunce cap and tell him precisely what you told us. Or make a true confession video saying what you've just written.

    It WILL TAKE WORDS. Words are the basis for a relationship, NOT ACTIONS. Communication is key. It's just how you USE the words.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:07 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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