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2 Bumps

Will I ever understand the things he does?!?!

My boyfriend and a very big flirt. He cant really control it. He has a great sense of humor and so on. Everyone loves him. But our relationship history has not been the greatest, engaged to split to back together, now pregnant with his child. after 3 years lol. he has a history or having provactive conversations with women. And I admit I have snooped to find out this information, which was very very wrong of me to do. I know. I go looking for something I will find that. but I just find it sad that the topic that was talked about was our sex life, saying that he is bored and its not that its lack of its just he dont want it. and he asked her if she wearing thong and so on. how do i take that? My brother says let it go, he a guy stressed cause he going to be a dad and just like him my bf is a flirt. but why when asked if he is bored and if he talks to it to ppl he says NO?! is it just a guy thing? should i let it go? i dunno

Answer Question
 
mommyoftristan

Asked by mommyoftristan at 4:38 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,903 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • adoption and find a REAL man.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:40 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Probably Not most guys flirt without thinking about it.
    jessesmama22

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 4:40 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Well, a guy can be flirty with women and NOT talk about his sex life with his girlfriend.... That to me is crossing a line. In addition to that, he's lying to you. Both those issues to me are a bigger problem than just "being a flirt"... Yesh, I'd have a problem with that and no, it's not just a guy thing.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 4:41 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I would NOT let it go. He has a brain and he should start thinking about what he is doing before he does it. He should be having these conversations with YOU not someone else. There is no excuse for that!
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 4:41 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • OMG ANON! So just because her BF is being a little bit of a dick means get rid of the kid you have got to be kidding me! Its the pregnancy thing....a friend of mine went through this with her DH. He never cheated on her but when he found out she was pregnant and he was going to be a dad he went off the deep end. He wasnt attracted to her as much any more because of how he knew her body was going to change and he was scared. Dont bring up you snooping through his stuff. You shouldnt be doing that to begin with so dont bring that up. But my friend just had to work a little harder to turn him on if she wanted any. good luck and hope things work out for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • To be honest, what are you complaining about? You know that he's a a big flirt, so why put yourself through the misery or snooping to know what he's talking about with other women? It had to dawn on you that one day, his innocent flirting would eventually surface to the real thing...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:32 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • There is a BIG difference between flirting and disrespecting your SO-and yours is so far over the line that it is not even funny!! It is one thing for a man to bring up his sex life to one of his man friends but it is quite another to bring it up to another woman-what your man was doing was not flirting it was opening a door for invitations. The question is not whether there is a problem but what you are going to do about it? I seriously recommend couples counseling or cutting your losses. It is VERY unhealthy for you to be in a relationship where you feel like you have to constantly check up on him-how does it make you feel to be 'that girl' who is always checking emails and text messages? Unfortunately confronting him is hardly going to be enough for him "straighten up"
    Good Luck and think of what will be best for your baby long term!!
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 5:42 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I agree with Anouck, Jademom and Ashley. Flirting is bad enough, but discussing your sex life with another chick is crossing the line. Best of luck to you with your new baby. Hopefully he either straightens up or you find the strength to kick him to the curb and not have to deal with someone disrespecting you that way
    KimPippin

    Answer by KimPippin at 6:18 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Thank you. I know he is a flirt.. yes.. BUT that does not give him the right to talk to women the way he does, honestly. I have been debating on moving for a while. We were planning to move from Fla to NH SOON, but its on hold since he got laid off recently. But even tho it was wrong of me to have snooped, I feel like I should be able to to a point. I am older I should know better. I have gone through a relationship where a man treated me like crap before with my sons father. This one here, is a baby compared to me. maybe thats the issue. I know what is best... but I dont know what is stopping me from making that move. my sister says to leave and make him come after me. some say give him time, others say wait till baby is here and see if things change.. blah.. lol i appreciate all the advice and so on. i know i seem like a silly girl for putting myself through all this
    mommyoftristan

    Comment by mommyoftristan (original poster) at 6:51 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • well, my hubby did this, many many times, and i left, i took my 6 week old baby and left, eventually i was talked back into coming home, he hasnt done it in a year, or maybe he just got better at hiding it, i guess i will never know, but if i ever find it again i will leave, i guess it depends, But in my opinon no matter what its not ok and its not your fault.
    xxSummaxx13

    Answer by xxSummaxx13 at 7:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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