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Kid in kindergarten touched my daughters privates at school how to handle.

My daughter just told me a boy touched her privates in music class and she moved his hand away.. she didn't say anything to the teacher. I am planning on going to the school tomorrow and talk to the teacher.. another kid in the class saw and told the teacher but my daughter said they weren't paying attention. so i think a should have a consultation with the parents.. what do you guys think.. the boy is probably only 5 or 6 but he should know what is appropriate and what is not.


Asked by NaiveDream at 5:37 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 16 (2,403 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I can tell you now the school is not going to let you talk to this boy or his parents. And they would be right. First, don't make this a bigger deal than what it is. I say that as someone who has worked with sexually abuse kids....and still do, don't scare your child by making this huge. A) either the boy had no about private parts being PRIVATE or B) Perhaps this little boy has had an incident that was inappropriate touch or play happen to him or C) there was a normal curiosity at this time - which is normal for this age. If this was my child I would talk to her about how I am so proud she told me, rehearse boundaries and private touching, and tell her I am going to talk to her teacher because it is not okay for kids to play or touch other kids' private parts. Then a hug and a smile. But if a parent makes it out like a child has been raped or asked to preform oral scare your child. 


    Answer by frogdawg at 11:43 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I would talk to the teacher, and ask her to speak with the boy about appropriate touching ( you assume everyone knows what that is but they don't always know) . If it happens again I would make a bigger deal out of it- talk with the principal, request they meet with the parents.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:39 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Definitely talk to the teach. The teacher can then speak w/the parents. The teacher can talk to your child, the child who touched her and the one who saw it.

    Answer by cheekycherub at 5:55 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Teacher here: YES this needs to come to the attention of teachers.

    Teachers need to know that he is a kid that may need an extra eye on him to watch for other things like this.

    And also to watch for signs of abuse on this other childs part. Kids do crazy things sometimes, but then again, it could be a sign that he has been touched himself....

    Make sure you mention that, although the teachers SHOULD already know this.

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 6:36 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • You know I never thought of son was touched by another boy, same age, in the bathroom and he was 5 when it happened. I told the teacher and nothing ever happened again, but I didn't think about how this could be a sign that the kid could be getting molested. Thanks for bringing it up....

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 11:55 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • With that said there are big issues with assault and schools. I once had a first grader who planned to assault a little girl, did, and shoved his fist inside her vagina. That obviously is very disturbing and I was outraged at how the school and this boy's parents handled the situation. I was the counselor at the time for the school. Making the teacher aware is the responsible thing to do. If it happens again then I would be apt to make my next move. Happne once in the way you described can be seen as normal curiosity. Happen twice is lack of supervision knowing that it has occured in the past. AND it may mean the teacher did not address it with the parents of the child. It would then be responsible of the teacher to inform the child's parents so they can do some education at home as well on private parts.

    Answer by frogdawg at 11:48 AM on Oct. 21, 2010