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Family dilemna... cheating adult content

We went out drinking for my fiance's sisters birthday about a month ago. While she was drunk she said some things that made me think she was cheating on her husband. This past weekend her best friend, who is mine and his friend also, was drinking and told me that the sister has been cheating for a long time with her ex boyfriend. I told my fiance and he was beyond pissed. I feel terrible for the husband, he is a wonderful husband and father and has no idea. (They are only 25). I wish he knew but it's not my place to tell anyone. So - the plan had been that his sister would be in my side of the wedding party and the husband, who he is close to, was going to be on his side. We are both absolutely disgusted with his sister and do not want her in the wedding anymore. However, we are going to look rude if we have her husband in the wedding and not her. How do we not have her in the wedding, without looking like complete assholes ?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • Rude or not, I would not want to have a lying, cheating scumbag stand up for me on my wedding day.

    I would have your fiance tell his sister why you are rescinding the invite to be in the wedding party and let her explain to her husband why.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 5:51 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Honestly, I don't really see a way to pull this one off without giving a reason... Which obviously, you don't want to do. Maybe you can say that you've decided you'd rather want your best friend/family member instead of somebody from his side of the family?
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 5:52 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • not rude if you tell her why.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 5:55 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Acting on the information you have will ruin your relationship with her. If you don't care let her know she will not be in the wedding, but you can be sure her husband will not understand why and will probably back out of the wedding party himself. The most effective thing -if you can't live with the information you have- would be to confront her and let her know that if she doesn't come clean to her husband you will.
    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 5:59 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • You could always just drop both her and a groomsmen out and just say it was because you decided to have a smaller wedding party. But I personally would confront her about it and tell her the reason. She will most likely deny it but I wouldn't want that kind of person in my wedding!
    kristinashley24

    Answer by kristinashley24 at 6:03 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • lucky for you it's YOUR wedding and you aren't obligated to worry about how everyone else is going to be feeling on your day. If you no longer want her in your wedding I would tell her and make sure she knows exactly why-let your fiance tell her since it is afterall his sister and that way people can't make you the bad guy in the situation. Then let her explain to her husband why she is no longer in the wedding, either way the truth will come out someday so the further you are from the situation the better.
    AshleyBishop06

    Answer by AshleyBishop06 at 6:10 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I'm sorry, but I would want to know. I think you need to sit down and talk to the sister, and tell her that you know. Tell her that she needs to tell him, because he doesn't deserve that. Tell her that she isn't going to be in the wedding, because you are so disgusted with her. Tell her that she has a week to tell her husband before you do it. If you don't want to tell him directly, get his email address, and send him an anonymous email. 

    Punky_1981

    Answer by Punky_1981 at 6:10 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • That is a hard situation. I think you will have to give her a reason as to why she will not be in the wedding party and for the best results, maybe your fiance (idk the dynamics of the family but whoever is closer to her-you or him) should privately tell her that you know what is going on and do not wish to have her in the wedding party because you don't want your special day tarnished with infidelity. I would tell her she needs to come clean to her husband and you will tell others who ask why she is not in the party that you decided to also remove a groomsman in order to have a smaller wedding party. I think that way it is clear you are not trying to embarrass or humiliate her in front of family and friends but also you put her in a position where she knows her secret is out and needs to be addressed. I would not be surprised if she does not understand though and is mad for years :(
    katie23

    Answer by katie23 at 6:48 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • send her a note & tell her you know she is cheating & that you don't want her in the wedding. She won't say anything & if she does, she will beg you not to tell her husband.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:04 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • Sweetie.
    Forgive and Let Live.
    OR smoke that SHIT and LEAVE.
    newathis918

    Answer by newathis918 at 7:28 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

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