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Does quantity of time spent with your kids = raising a ...????

Does being a single parent who works full time automatically mean she will raise a bully, an emotionally, socially or intellectually stunted individual?? In response to a question in which I initially agreed w/most of the responses I began to feel alienated. Many of the responses blamed the "problem with today's youth" on parents who can't/don't spend all of their time w/their kids, i.e., non- SAHM's. I've been a single mom since conception & I've managed to raise a young man who will be 18 in Feb that is so intelligent & compassionate & has such a healthy sense of right & wrong & of himself that I could not possibly be more proud or a bigger fan. During his lifetime his only parent (me) has graduated HS & college while holding 1 - 2 jobs at a time in order to pay all of the bills & became a high-powered executive. Yes,time spent w/kids has value... but is it everything?? (oh, btw.. I didn't spank either)

 
FeelinYummy

Asked by FeelinYummy at 7:38 PM on Oct. 20, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 22 (15,081 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You answered it! Everything successful is quality, not quantity....especially when it comes to raising children. The time spent with your son and what you did with him during that time is key, not the amount of time. I am also sure him watching you raise him alone and work hard gave him character and skills needed to become a success in this world. Pat yourself on the shoulders, you deserve it!
    sailorgirl12

    Answer by sailorgirl12 at 7:43 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think there are so many important things that go into parenting, it's silly to pick one thing and say that it makes or breaks a child (unless that one important thing is love).

    Kudos to you for your accomplishments and for having such a brilliant son :)
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 7:43 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • No, I think the QUALITY of parenting is the biggest effect. Of course, to have QUALITY parenting, there has to be some measureable QUANTITY of parenting occurring.

    When I think of absent parents, I'm thinking of the ones who don't even deal with their kids when they ARE together. You know the ones, the ones whose kids are all over the neighborhood, Mom/Dad never know where they are, couldn't care less either, so long as JUNIOR doesn't interfere with their plans.

    I saw a bumper sticker that expressed it best: "Mean people breed little mean people."
    geminilove

    Answer by geminilove at 7:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think it is quality time and enforcing values, when I was growing up w/a single parent, my mom was not home a lot, but I remember the times she was home she made it a point to spend time with us. There was rules and punishments, we knew the deal, even when she was not there. I am not a bully or emotionally harmed in any way from her being busy, I knew she was doing what was needed to take care of us. She had 4 kids, worked a full time job, was going to college, worked a part time night job on the weekends, and cleaned houses. So the time she spent with us was minimal for a long time, but now I understand the value of hard work.
    Bubbie0809

    Answer by Bubbie0809 at 8:35 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • I think you answered your own question. It is quality of time that is important. I know that children would love for us to be home all the time (my kids have said this) but for some of us its just not possible. I have always worked, and I know from experience that its how you spend your time with your children, how you talk to them, how you discipline, how you encourage and support them and show them above all you love them and are always there that make the big differences. There are parents that stay home with their children and have children that are not well behaved, and there are parents that work and have children that aren't well behaved. It's all in quality of the time you're spending with your children.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 8:45 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • im the type that knows i dont always have to entertain my 22 month old, or plan things for her to do 24/7 i stay home with her and im here for her when she needs it but i know she is ok to go play off on her own in her room and watch her toy story or what not, we still finger paint and color and play with playdoh and go to the park 1-2 times a week but i dont think im bad for sitting watching a movie /reading a book in the day while she goes and does her thing,
    alcnic27

    Answer by alcnic27 at 7:48 PM on Oct. 20, 2010

  • true, but not all parents are bad parents that have kids with behavior issues, i was a hellion growing up but had great parents, just acted out
    alcnic27

    Answer by alcnic27 at 8:48 PM on Oct. 20, 2010