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How to love??

How to love my husband when I don't feel it anymore? I just know that he's super nice guy but I don't love him? How to love someone that you don't? I don't want to get divorce. I want to work out this marriage. I really don't know what to do?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:49 PM on Oct. 28, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • great question I know my husband loves me but is not in love with me no more but I will not give up yet
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I have a GREAT book I'd love to suggest.... however it's written by a Christian and rubs a lot of women the wrong way. If f you'd like to know the title, and read an excerpt, you can message me =)
    dedicatedrider

    Answer by dedicatedrider at 10:54 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • marriage counceling is a great first step. It may help you work out some problems you may have, but don't realize. Always put in a good amount of effort before you think about divorce!
    I hope you can figure it out!
    mrseum

    Answer by mrseum at 10:55 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I went through the same thing with my husband about 8 years ago. I literally had to pray that the Lord would help me fall in love with him again. My prayers were answered we attended a couple of family life marriage conferences and WOW it was very humbling for both of us. The most wonderful thing is that we both worked on things that helped. Your marriage can be saved. We have been together 14 years and I believe the Lord has some big plans for you and your marriage...Give it to Him.
    JulieMW

    Answer by JulieMW at 11:04 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • i find that looking at our wedding pics stirs up the emotions that i felt that day. i feel warm and fussy. i get hot and horny. i think of how he had his fist tight with nerves and anxiety but happiness. he never look so good to me as he did that day. also sharing cuddle time in bed sure renews me. i don't talk much but he does so i listen. we hold hands often and we tell each other every day that we do. i think that helps in setting your mind to really feel that emotion. i think the spark can fizzle but it can be re-lit if you allow to see him in that new lovey way. maybe go have another honeymoon or get some marriage couples therapy or group. i think everyone or most feel like you do cause after awhile you loose yourself and get way to comfortable. love is working through it all the thick and thin.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 11:29 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • maybe friendship and mutual respect can work. I had love and it wasn't enough. If we had friendship and mutual respect for one another we'd probably still be married.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:32 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • I see love now as a comittment not infatuation that it once was. we work well together he care and respect each other.
    Lyndall

    Answer by Lyndall at 11:38 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Those feelings of affection come and go. Ido think you love him more then you relize. Simply because you want to make it work. That speakes alot. Now do you love again? Show him love every day. Get interested in the things he likes. spend quality time together, go on dates. Stir things up a bit. Most of all, if your a praying person at all, even if you not. Pray for him. Prayer is the ultimate love language.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 11:59 PM on Oct. 28, 2008

  • Don't give up without a fight. Fight for your family!! Have sex. Just do it, and often. Try to remember what you loved about him when you did love him. Make a list of all his good points and say them out loud proceed by "I love". Try to find it again. Divorce sucks and a loveless marraige sucks even more! Are you depressed at all? It's hard to love your hubby when you're depressed. If you are, get treatment for that. Good luck to you!!!!
    shmorris56

    Answer by shmorris56 at 12:04 AM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I'M NOT SURE WHAT YOUR RELIGIOUS VIEWS ARE BUT I HAVE BEEN READING THIS BOOK FOR A MONTHS OR SO AND IT HAS TURNED MY RELATIONSHIP AROUND. MAINLY HOW I FEEL AND THINK. IT IS CALLED "POWER OF A PRAYING WIFE." IT FOCUSES ON HOW HELPFUL PRAYER CAN BE, AND HELPS TO POINT OUT THINGS THAT WE FORGET AS WIVES/SOS'S AFTER TIME. I WOULD REALLY RECOMMEND IT EVEN IF YOU ARENT CHRISTIAN, CAUSE A LOT OF THE VIEWS ARE AWESOME AND HELPFUL EVEN WITHOUT THE BIBLICAL ASPECT. I THINK YOU SHOULD ATTEMPT COUNSELING, AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I THINK IT IS AWESOME THAT YOU ARENT JUST GIVING UP. GOOD LUCK AND HANG IN THERE.

    alicia_4307

    Answer by alicia_4307 at 2:58 AM on Oct. 29, 2008

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