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2 Bumps

a friend of mine is very ill/ terminally and keeps having babies with girlfriend.

when this friend found out he was terminally ill he and his gf had 5 kids that should have been the signal for them to stop but since then they have had 4 more back to back . they are EXTREMELY poor and ask neighbors for stuff like food,money or everything as matter of act. i used to help them financially but i have stopped because i need the little money that i earn and i think that they are just sucking every body dry. i still feel bad for the kids but i am disgusted at the adults who keep breeding. all the neighbors are also disgusted at their wicked behavior but no one wants to say any thing to them because its their life. by the way the father who is ill is always in and out of the hospital. what are your thoughts???

 
maya123

Asked by maya123 at 12:17 AM on Oct. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 20 (9,544 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • my thoughts are well it is their life. if you don't want to be involved (and btw, i am astounded that you refer to this person as a friend after badmouthing them so much) then you don't have to be.
    princessbeth79

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 12:20 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • It's hard to be friends with someone whose choices you don't support. I can't blame you for not supporting her choices. People make babies they can't support all the time, and while it's hard to watch (and know your tax dollars are supporting them), they have the right to make those choices. =/ It would infuriate me, too, but all you can do is step aside and choose not to enable them, like you've done.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:25 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Having more kids isn't the answer to their problems. They should have thought about their financial situation before having any more kids. It's going to be tough on the mom when their father dies. I just can't imagine someone having that many kids knowing that the father's health isn't very good. They can't keep depending on other people to keep them up, it just doesn't work that way. I don't know how old the parents are but, it's time to come back to reality.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:37 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I'm sorry, I'm stuck on the fact you called them 'breeders' and 'wicked'.
    VintageWife

    Answer by VintageWife at 1:08 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Help or don't help but don't judge. Making them sound like animals and calling them wicked only makes you sound bad. You and the neighbors should be ashamed of yourselves. She isn't a friend and they don't need to hear what she thinks. I agree with MYOB.


     

    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:28 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Working in the field, I see too many people having more kids when they shouldn't. I noticed the one mom asking if they're in danger. YES! Neglect is abuse!! They can't feed them and nobody can give so many children the attention they need in order to grow into responsible members of society. The father being terminally ill just shows how irresponsible they really are. Who's going to raise those children when the dad dies? The streets? I'm disgusted and would not be afraid to meddle - If I can save only one child from being born into harsh conditions, I've done my job. Screw their feelings. Terminally ill or not
    CassyzMom

    Answer by CassyzMom at 4:24 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Guess they may not believe in birth control or maybe wanted to have a bigger family.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 12:19 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Are the kids in danger? Parenting is hard work, yet incredibly fulfilling. Maybe he wants to have something worth leaving behind - like a family. If the kids are in danger, health and welfare wise, maybe get someone involved. If not, if they seem like normal kids, let your friends live their life. If you can't help them financially, maybe you could find other ways to help - babysitting, house cleaning, running errands for them while you're doing yours. Friends help friends. We're all imperfect.
    Reenieredhead

    Answer by Reenieredhead at 12:24 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • MYOB in this case. As long as the kids are being taken care of and not abused, stay out of it. No one is perfect.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:27 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • It make take a family member to set them straight....my sister's husband has a sister who had 5 kids all 11 months aprt all the while living in a run down trailer they got for $500, her mom ( my sisters mother in law) said one more kid pops out she will never talk to her again! and now those kids are 18 to 13 all have jobs and have to turn the money over to the parents...parents still have never worked a day in their lives
    wheresthewayout

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:29 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

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