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is it a bad thing or childish to....

My oldest sons father and I arent 2gether, well my son wants a dirtbike for christmas. Well hes never really been much of a dad, but thats fine my husband made up for it. But anyhow he wants to get him the bike for him, was it bad i told him he didnt want one anymore just so he wouldnt buy it and we could? I dont feel like he deserves the glory.

 
adyssonsmommy

Asked by adyssonsmommy at 12:20 AM on Oct. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 7 (203 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I just wanted to tell you. My oldest son is mine from a previous marriage, my husband raised him from the age of 4. His bio dad hardly bothered whim, especially the older he got, & spent very little on gifts for him. When he did finally buy him something expensive, & kind of special, my son was happy to take it, but his attitude wasn't that he was grateful, it was that his dad didn't bother w/him anyway, so he "owed" him. He knew the effort that I put into making his birthdays special & that every yr I tried to give him what he wanted most. His dad didn't get any real "glory" out of it. Kids are smart. At 1 pt his dad tried to tell him that I had turned him against his dad & my son got so angry. He told his dad that I couldn't have turned him against his dad, only his dad could do that. I never said bad things, I didn't manipulate, but he was smart enough to see his dad did those things. He's 28 & has little to do w/his dad.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:19 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • You lied. And tho you don't want your ex to get the glory, all kids want to know their biological parents are good people (they are related) and know they love them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:23 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I don't blame you for telling that to him. But what are you going to do when your son and his biological father find out the truth? It's always a possibility that someone is going to find out. Be prepared.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:32 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Shame..Shame..Shame... thirty licks with a wet noodle. LOL I would have done the same!
    dmbutler

    Answer by dmbutler at 12:24 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Well, what makes it bad is that he'll find out you lied, and he'll probably tell your son......

    I think I'd have let him buy it, and bought him a lot of cool stuff to go with it.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:24 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • i don't blame u one bit
    Paigesmommy78

    Answer by Paigesmommy78 at 12:46 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • My children's father don't have much to do with my kids either.. He don't visit he don't pay childsupport he don't do crap...I would have totally done the same thing and if the "little white lie" were to be revealed I would simply just explain your actions..He is a kid he is gonna be so thrilled with the gift he is not gonna care where it came from...
    carterclan02

    Answer by carterclan02 at 1:19 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Don't ever hold your child back from his real father. Trust me the only bad person in the end will be you and you don't want that.. What does it matter if he gets the glory that is childish to me. Just cause he isn't much of a father doesn't mean he can't get what he wants for him. I can understand why everyone can't just put there issues aside for the children for god sacks.
    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 2:04 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • You could do that, (and have a little satisfaction) but how will your son feel when he finds out that u told his father he didn't want it anymore, just so you could have the glory?

    Your son knows everything you do for him and a dirt bike want change that.
    DeBee13

    Answer by DeBee13 at 2:52 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • It's catty, but I can't blame you.
    musicpisces

    Answer by musicpisces at 12:21 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

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