Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

Is it still mental abuse even though I don't let it get to me anymore?

For the past 5 years DH has been abusive, not so much physicall but mentally and emotionally. Although, he has hit me before we had kids. We have two kids together, a 2.5 year old and a 1.5 year old. Anyways, I would say for the past 5 months, everyday I have been getting stronger mentally, to the point nothing bothers me and I stay positive. But when you are around negativity like my DH, it drains me. Pretty much anything bad that has ever happened to him, he blames me for. He always mentions how is life was so much better before he met me. and there are times if he argues with me, he will say it's because we are two different races and race mixing is the reason why we fight. He's white and I am hispanic. He is very ignorant! He's like jekhill and Hyde. One day he loves me and the next I am the fault of everything and he always tries to be better than me. And if someone compliments me or likes me as a person, it makes him mad

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:33 AM on Oct. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • No bc u found away to deal with it GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:36 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Yes, it's still mental abuse. I would have a big talk with him. Let him know that if he wants to stay with you and the kids he needs counseling. The kids will pick up this behavior and think that is okay to act like that.
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 8:36 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Yes, this is definitely abuse. It is hard living with someone who treats you like that, and it will affect your kids...they will think this is normal and even treat you that way themselves as they get older....they will also treat other people that way, or marry people that treat them that way....I urge you to get you and your husband into counselling....if he won't go, I urge you to get away from him.....it is ultimately your decision of course, but nobody deserves to be abused in any way...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 8:39 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • it is abuse. Sounds like you use the fact that you have kids as an excuse not to leave.
    adelinasmommy

    Answer by adelinasmommy at 8:39 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • U need to leave him make him miss u and if he wants you back there will have to be rules and no man should not put their hands on a woman he needs to find someone his size that big bully. maybe his life with his parents wasn't all that and he is only doing what he knows. And race has nothing to do with it he is being a big dummy and being plain mean to you bc he feels he can. He needs counseling and never blame yourself for anything you sound like the adult here in this picture. GL Hang in there girl you and the kids will be just fine. God Bless!!!
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 8:42 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Its abuse and even if you've learned to ignore it, your kids still see/hear whats going on. They pick up on more than you realize and its not a healthy environment for them.
    hobbitswife04

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 8:42 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Yes it is still mental abuse! He sounds so ignorant! I am hispanic and my husband is white and I'll be damned if I let him talk down to me! Good thing you are strong and it doesn't bother you so much, but it's still wrong!
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 8:42 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • yes it is abuse in so many ways....you should not let him do that to you. basically your happiness depends on his moods....heck with that you deserve to be treated with respect as his wife and mother of his childeren....tell him that you will not have that anymore and if he was so much more happier before you then all he has to do is just walk out this door and wave good bye.
    seriously honey that does not make any sense that you spend the rest of your life with him if he treats you like that. stand up for yourself....let that fiery Latina blood boil a little :)
    Ladyblue38

    Answer by Ladyblue38 at 9:06 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Of course it is still abuse, you have just learned how to cope with it, which is extremely unhealthy. Your children on the other hand are be shaped and formed by what they see and hear and will have a lifetime of problems unless you decide to be strong for them and get out of this horrible relationship.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 9:11 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • "Is it still physical abuse even if he doesn't break any bones?"

    WHAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH IS STILL ABUSE.
    ballewal

    Answer by ballewal at 9:45 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN