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4 Bumps

New to cafe mom i need to ask a relationship question

my husband fights with me over me cooking and cleanin and bills well here recently i have change the way that i am i text him tellin him what all i have done throughout the day i make sure there is food for him even if he gets home late i jsut make sure to always have everything clean and food ready...well he also would fight about the bills like why he was so behind i dont want to fight with him so i let him put the blame on me and truth is when he would play softball alll the time we wouldnt pay a bill..anyway here recently i went to pay the bills and i new we had to pay the car but i assumed he was going to because not once did he ask me to pay it..and thats are fault because we didnt communicate about it..well he is mad at me and pushing me away and jsut being an asshole..well this morning i called and made the payment and i thought it would satisfy him but no he just got more mad..what else can i do?

Answer Question
 
mduran15

Asked by mduran15 at 9:56 AM on Oct. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • Its not you it is him! he sounds like he is looking for a reason to be grouchy. Sit down and tell him how it is making you feel and that you want to please him but you dont know what he wants. Tell him also what he can do to please you. You cant make someone happy who chooses to be grouchy!
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 9:59 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Wow, sorry to hear your living like that hon. It sounds like your with a real control freak. Don't allow him to talk down to you like that, and let him know how you feel about being treated the way is he. You don't deserve it, no one dose. I know these girls will give you very good advice on this one. Good luck hon and stand up for yourself. Hugs

    zbee

    Answer by zbee at 10:02 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • i agree with zbee. hes only going to get worse if you dont do something now. how far would you go to keep him happy?
    hlmommy

    Answer by hlmommy at 10:10 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • What exactly does he say? Are things not clean enough or something?
    gulfcoastmom4

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 10:26 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • You can't fix that level of assholitude.
    Fistandantalus

    Answer by Fistandantalus at 10:32 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • He sounds like he's very controlling and will not be happy unless he's making you unhappy.
    You need to sit down and have a clam conversation and stand up for yourself.
    MrsDAP

    Answer by MrsDAP at 11:52 AM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Just tell him that you are going to do all the bills, so that he does not have to worry about it. This way you are in control of it and thinks he has less to do, which should make him happy.
    jshimmy

    Answer by jshimmy at 12:26 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • control = abuse

    taking control of all bills, great idea, and you need to have idea of what money is avaliable, should he decide to be more controlling
    have a slush fund
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • take care of the bills urself, dont even ask him
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 2:33 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I agree, he is super controlling. You need to stop allowing him to treat you this way. When he begins to complain about what you've done or not done just walk away. Don't discuss it, don't argue and don't apologize! If he pursues you, explain that you aren't discussing it until he can treat you with respect. There's no excuse for him to behave this way, it will only get worse if you don't stop it now. As for the bills, designate who is responsible for what bill and stick with it. I'm responsible for making sure all bills are paid, not because my dh asked me to, he's just not responsible enough to. GL
    Austinsmom35

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 2:51 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

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