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3 Bumps

The Co-Parent tells your child that they're the reason we fight, crossing the line or not?

I deffinitly believe that a comment like that to any age child (mine was 3) is WRONG! But I'm not sure if its wrong enough to leave for the sake of the child. What do you think?

Answer Question
 
mistykitty84

Asked by mistykitty84 at 2:04 PM on Oct. 21, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • Fighting in general, can be reason enough to leave.. Especially if the fighting is to the point, that a child (children) are being drawn into it. Children are affected by fighting amongst their parents anyway and it does not create a "healthy" atmosphere for raising a child.. Them being dragged into it (regardless if that is: blaming them, pushing them to pick sides... etc) is even more detrimental for a child.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 2:07 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • That is wrong! I dont know about leaving for that alone, unless there are other issues, but it something that needs to be discussed!

    In no way should a child ever be told they are the cause of something beyond thier control!
    ThaSs

    Answer by ThaSs at 2:08 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I don't think that it is a comment to leave the spouse unless this comment happens often and is reoccuring. You should definitly talk to the person who made the comment and say not to do it angain and according ont eh reaction should determine if you should leave or not
    brittany_wohleb

    Answer by brittany_wohleb at 2:08 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • That is most definitely crossing the line. We are not perfect parents, our house is small so there was hardly anywhere to fight. Even if we didn't fight in front of them they would still be able to hear us. But telling a child that they are the reason you are fighting is not acceptable. They should know better than to say something like that to a child, I don't care how old the child is.
    akamomof275847

    Answer by akamomof275847 at 2:10 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Yes, this is wrong. It is NEVER the child's fault that the adults can not get along and to me that would cross the line. Hubby and I rarely argue (enough so now that the last time we did our youngest thought we were divorcing because it was the first time she coud remember and she's 11) so in our case this would be a marriage breaker I'm afraid.
    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 2:10 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • That is so wrong! Now if the kid is 35 maybe, but a 3 year old, very very over the line.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 2:11 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • what is a co-parent???
    sahlady

    Answer by sahlady at 2:12 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Why would they say your child is the reason? I mean, you could be arguing over differences in parenting, but I don't think it's right to blame the child as to why you argue. You argue because you can't seem to find a solution to the problems you are dealing with. So yeah, it was wrong for him/her to blame your three year old and I think you should atleast seperate yourself from him if that is how he is going to act. In my opinion, that's the first sign of abuse. Making a child feel bad about themself in that way. Is this the father of your child or just another husband?
    GinNTonic

    Answer by GinNTonic at 2:13 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • i think that is absolutly out of line and definitley a reason to leave..it makes me think of what other hurtful things they would be cabable of saying to my child
    mscmariee

    Answer by mscmariee at 2:18 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • That crosses the line for me. How can adult in any way justify telling a 3 year old that fighting between parents is his/her fault? Sounds like coparent is in denial, will not take responsibility for his actions and is too immature to be a parent.
    hq9858

    Answer by hq9858 at 1:40 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

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