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Would this make you sad?

I've been sick the last few days (again). When I got up this morning my husband was on the computer. I asked him if he would go get me a Subway because I was hungry and there isn't much food in the house.
He said he couldn't because he had to get ready for work in a minute. He then spent the next 10 minutes on the computer and then took 5 minutes to get ready for work.
The Subway is a mile away. It would have taken him about 10 minutes to drive there and back. But he just didn't feel like it. I'm so freaking sad. He never does anything for me. Now it's 1pm and I'm starving and there really isn't anything to eat (I haven't eaten since I had popcorn last night). He's working a double tomorrow and Saturday morning so unless I walk a mile to the store I have to make what little we have last until Saturday or, most likely, Sunday.
I'm just not important enough to get a sandwich, I guess.

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Asked by justanotherjen at 3:59 PM on Oct. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 26 (28,174 Credits)
Answers (30)
  • i would be more mad then sad ...i would let him know how ya feel about it and see what he says then i would let him know if he doesn't like doing simple things for you like that then you don't plan on doing little simple things for him anymore... good luck hon!!

    Answer by gracelessstar21 at 4:01 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Why couldn't you go get it? I understand that you aren't feeling well, but if you really think about it, it would have taken longer than 10 min to go. It takes at least 5-10 just to go in and get the sandwich, pay and leave. Plus the 10 minutes of travel. He may very well not have had time.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 4:02 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • It depends on what he was doing on the computer. If he was paying bills or catching up on work then that is more important then a subway

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 4:02 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I bet you spoil your husband to show him how much you care. In return you expect him to occasionally step up and take care of you. I have walked in your shoes girl. I would be mad, as I bet you are. I know you are sick and how simple your request seemed. Sorry he didn't step up. It took me a very long time to get my DH to see he wasn't the only one that has needs and wants. Granted he still slacks a good bit, but he has learned to take care of momma when she is sick or he won't get babied when he is;) and we all know how those men love to be babied when they are ill. Hope you get better doll =)

    Answer by luv2mum at 4:08 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I can't go get it because I'm sick and don't drive.  So I have to WALK the 1.2 miles which takes me about a 30 minutes.  That means I would have had to get my 3mo and 4yo ready to go out in the 55F temps.  My husband has a car.  It takes 2 minutes to drive there, 2 minutes to drive back.

    He was on the computer chatting on a football message board.  Which is almost always more important than me.  He usually uses his phone.  When we go out to eat he spends most of the time on his phone on the message boards and ignoring me and the kids. 

    I'm just really depressed.  I haven't been on my pills in over a week because he won't pick them up for me on his way to work because that means he has to leave earlier.  The Walgreens is 3 miles away.


    Comment by justanotherjen (original poster) at 4:10 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • He was just sick last Saturday and spent the whole day on the couch sleeping or watching TV and whining/moaning about being sick.
    Meanwhile I was outside doing all the yard work and was so sore I could barely move. Then I had to take care of our 5 kids, him and make dinner, clean the house. I ended up getting sick that day and was miserable all night and Sunday. But Sunday he just sat on the couch because it was his day off and football was on. Now I'm even sicker. I'll probably be walking to the store whether I want to or not since I'll have to get formula. He won't stop on his way home because he's too tired.
    You think I'd be used to this after 11 years but it still makes me so sad.

    Comment by justanotherjen (original poster) at 4:13 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Have you thought about getting a drivers license? (not being snotty..just asking). It would fix a lot of your issues. You seem to require him to take care of you, and I don't think that's healthy for anyone. My husband is in the military and if I required that much "care" our lives wouldn't work at all. Maybe instead of getting on him, you should learn to be a little more independent. As for your meds, you can change pharmacies. I know walmart delivers and sometimes you can find local pharmacies that do as well. I assure you I don't mean any of this in a bad way, or with any malice.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 4:14 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • You need to learn to drive and get a car. Then when you want something you can go get it.

    Answer by Keksie at 4:15 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • ok this is kinda a pity thing. i do not want to draw fingers or point here but, if you both had made some descent groceries, then you could have made it with making a pot of soup or something. here's the thing, most guys are still cavemen. yes i said cavemen. they naturally zone out. watch the animal planet or discovery channel on males n mating and things. human males are no different. yes there are some who are tender and compassionate but most don't think like females. someone's sick let me send a bouquet of balloons or flowers. or get a special just for you card. men are simply designed eat sleep and sexual contact, explains the self love. so don't get mad at him. he can't help it. you have to learn him the new behavior. when he is sick leave him little notes tend to him and then he'll slowly grab on to the concept. it also deals with upbringing. if they were busy busy busy, well then you are after a lost cause.

    Answer by dancingmoon84 at 4:30 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Oh sweety I understand completely how you feel my guy does the same thing but worse alot worse he wont go into a store by himself ever...He has social issues but he also treats me like crap he grips at me when he don't get what he wants to eat but if i'm hungry and want something I have to get it myself...Oh and heres the best part I have been in the hospital about 5 times in the last year and everytime I was in the hospital he would get on the computer and post ads on craigslist to sleep with women and get on myspace and try to sleep with women oh and he told me he had phone sex with alot of women but never in person I don't believe it I think he has so I understand how you feel but you will be okay I promise I am an I have it worse I'm about to leave him.

    Answer by jessesmama22 at 4:41 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

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