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2 Bumps

How do I deal with an Unsupportive Husband? adult content

My husband and I have been together 5 years (since I was 18) We had our daughter when I was 19 and now are expecting our 2nd child any day now. He slips into depressive moods as well as angry moods. He doesn't do anything to help me out!!! I have been trying to get through to him but am at my wits end!!! What should I do? Our baby will be here soon and I want him to be on board and happy!!

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TennesseeAsh

Asked by TennesseeAsh at 5:22 PM on Oct. 21, 2010 in Relationships

Level 2 (7 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • sorry but I am just curious what made you want to have baby#2 with him? serious question and not a bash... I found out after our one and only child at 28 that we both could not care for another one.. not financially but patience wise - house wise - activity wise - SUPPORT wise... did you think he would change? like I said, this is a serious question..
    maxsmom11807

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:33 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • You cannot make someone be happy just because you are happy. Ask yourself, has he always been like this? I know the common answer is no, he just started acting like this but trust me, there was signs there that you didn't want to see. The man is depressed and needs your support. I understand that you are having a baby and in your mind you think this should be a happy time but the man is depressed. Study up on depression..
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 5:34 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • hmmm depressive moods and angry moods -- it sounds like he is bipolar, actually. Has he ever been evaluated by a mental health professional? He may need medication to get his moods under control.
    Otherwise, you can't *make* him be supportive. You can try talking to him, in a non-accusatory, non-judgmental manner. However some men just don't have it in them to be supportive, unfortunately. I am married to a man like that.
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 5:37 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • I suggest some counseling. Sounds like he may be depressed. You can't make him happy only he can do that. Good Luck.
    meandmyshadow

    Answer by meandmyshadow at 5:38 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • It's too late. You really should have never had any babies with a man like him until he was able to overcome his issues. People need to be whole when they marry so that these types of things don't happen.

    SylviaNCali

    Answer by SylviaNCali at 6:25 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Thanks for all of your feedback guys. These mood swings have been and ongoing battle for about 3 years. I have tried to get him to go to counseling not only by himself but as a couple. I love him and he is a good man. I understand that getting married and having kids at a young age can be stressful. When things are good, they are great but when they are bad they are horrible. He talks about seeking help one day and then 2 days later its a different story. When he gets in these moods I try to be supportive and understanding, but at times it is difficult. Should I just be persistent?
    TennesseeAsh

    Comment by TennesseeAsh (original poster) at 7:38 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

  • Counseling won't help him, my dear, only meds will, if he's bipolar. Contact your local NAMI (www.nami.org) and they can hook you up with your local resources on getting him the help he needs. At the very least, ask him to get evaluated. You do need to be persistent but you also need to take care of yourself. If he absolutely does not want help, you won't be able to force him.
    MommaofH2

    Answer by MommaofH2 at 10:06 PM on Oct. 21, 2010

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