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3 Bumps

Concerned about my son

I might be making a big deal out of nothing, but I am starting to get concerned about my son, he is 16 in the 11th grade. He has never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl or been on a date! He has JR. Prom and stuff this year and I am concerned, I dont want him to miss out on the fun stuff! Is this normal? Hes a good looking kid, funny and smart, he is very shy sometimes. I know he likes girls, were very close and talk about everything and he tells me when he sees a girl he thinks is "hot" lol, this summer we were at the beach and he pointed out a hot girl and I said go talk to her and he did but it was very awkward and he didnt get anywhere with it. When I was his age I had a steady BF were married now lol, but there were so many boys who wanted to take me on dates, I have always had a BF since I was like in elementry school, my son has never, is this normal or something I should corncern myself with.

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dreamieJeanine

Asked by dreamieJeanine at 1:33 AM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 3 (16 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • just let him take his time, maybe he's not ready to chance heartache yet. I'm on the opposite end i wish my daughter wasn't into the boys as much , from the time she gets home till bed she's texting at least two boys at a time LOL but she is only "dating" one.

    pinkrayn

    Answer by pinkrayn at 1:40 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I would let him progress at his normal rate, which may be slower than most others, but it is just the right speed for him. Is he an only child? Maybe he is shy, because he has never been around girls. Encourage him to just make friends with a few, maybe introduce him to some, and then step back and give him some space to breath Mom! By the way, have you had "The Talk" with him yet? or has his dad? It just sounds like he needs to build up some self confidence, so find something that he is interested in and help him get involved with a group that does that thing. If it's a coed group all the better, youth groups at church are also a good place for him to meet some girls, just to be friends with. Encourage him to be a good listener, and be compassionate, he can't go wrong!
    MamaAlice54

    Answer by MamaAlice54 at 1:54 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I say Congatulations on having a 16 yr old son that isn't dating so much..that is great..I have a 17 yr old girl and she has a steady BF..but b4 him she didn't really want anything to do with dating..when he meets someone he is interested in..he will make his move and all will be well..let him enjoy being a kid as long as he wants..lol..Good Luck!!!
    JenniLynn77

    Answer by JenniLynn77 at 3:29 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Let him do everything at his own pace! He may not WANT to date at this point. He may have decided that girls in high school are stupid, back stabbing, gossipy, and not worth his time.
    He may not WANT to go to his JR prom. He may not WANT to have a girlfriend, he may not care that he's not kissed.
    I have 21 yr old twins where one was dating his senior year and the other did not. He didn't go on an first date until he was 20 yrs old because he didn't find anyone he wanted to spend that much time with until then. And now he's engaged to be marred next summer.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 9:23 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I agree with the others, let him do this at his own pace. There is no reason to push him to have a girlfriend. He can also go to all the school functions with friends, you don't have to have a date. He can still enjoy those things, if its something he wants to do.
    My son is 16 and sophmore and told me he did not want to have a girlfriend because he didn't see the point of getting into a relationship while in HS. Well for the past 3 months or so he was talking to a girl and they were close, he decided just before homecoming to ask her if she wanted to be his girlfriend. He waited nearly 4 months before he asked her, because he didn't want to jump into something. They don't hang out all the time, they don't talk on the phone 24/7 or even chat. They see each other at school and have occassionally gone to a sporting event together with friends. This weekend will be the first time she spends time with us watching movies.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 11:43 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Why should this concern you? everyone is different and if he is shy it is even more difficult. I really see no reason for concern, could you specify your concern?
    older

    Answer by older at 12:20 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I wouldn't worry about him....he jus sounds shy and a bit awkward.....Not everyone goes to the prom or goes to football games, etc....he may just be someone who marches to the beat of his own drummer.....just love him, and give him a good family life....the rest is up to him...
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 12:30 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • my 15 yr old daughter is the same ...she talks about this cute guy here and that one there but is shy and sticks with groups and school work...not a nerd by far (she is very active in social activities and such) but she said having a boyfriend would just be a distraction from school...
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 5:33 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I think he's doing fine. He will be gaga for a girl before you know it. For now I don't think he's missing out on anything. Don't rush it. He's got his mind on other things for now. He's' still young. : )
    duckigrrl

    Answer by duckigrrl at 3:28 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

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