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Do you "tolerate" your parents just because they are your parents? My mom has many issues and she can be very negative and I find myself talking to her just because she is my mom, but deep down inside I really want to cut her of due to some personal reasons. I've asked a question several months ago about cutting ties with her, but it's hard sometimes because the guilt starts to set in and I feel bad about wanting to stop talking to her. I know she serves me no purpose, never really have, but why is it hard sometimes to let go and move on with your life? Is anyone else going through a similar situation?

 
browneyes27

Asked by browneyes27 at 7:33 AM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,928 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I kind of feel that way about my mother in law. Although she's not my actual mom I should try to keep the peace with her because she's the grandma of my children and my husband's mom. It's always an on-going battle with me versus the two of them, he's a momma's boy and will never see her flaws. It hurts me and my children when she lives 5 minutes away and never comes over, never takes me up on any of my offers to have dinner with us, makes up excuses why she can't do this or that. But he always has an excuse for her. So I've just stopped asking her for anything, that way it won't be an issue. I'll live my life and she can live hers, without being in my kids' lives. But yes, on some levels I do just suck it up and "tolerate" her just because she's family, even though she shouldn't have the priveledge of being called family.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:37 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • @tnm.... do we have the same MIL? Mine is the same in many ways. I thought maybe I was the only one in the world with a MIL like this!
    TeensMom07

    Answer by TeensMom07 at 7:44 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • sad to say i just "tolerate" moest ppl in my life
    Kittty_Katt

    Answer by Kittty_Katt at 7:44 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Wow that's really a shame because your kids are missing out on the whole grandparent experience and my daughter is as well. My mom was really unfit and because of the way that I grew up, I'm having a very hard time moving on with my life. I know longer want to be a victim, but sometimes I just don't know where to turn. I realize that I need to let it all go, but I don't know how sometimes.
    browneyes27

    Comment by browneyes27 (original poster) at 7:46 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Honey, I have been, and still am, in a similar situation. It's really hard to deal with a mom like that. I have had to distance myself more, or else she continues to hurt me, seemingly on purpose. My advice for you is to cut yourself away enough to minimize the hurt. This is tricky because you may want to still allow her in your kids lives, while also minimizing their potential for hurt.

    I call her on her birthday, give invitation for kids' parties and let her know when Girl Scout cookies are being sold, etc.... but I live most of my days like I don't have a mom, because they is how she acts - like I am not her daughter.
    .science.mom.

    Answer by .science.mom. at 12:07 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • my family ( me, hubby and 2 kids ) r treated like this by both sides of our family, and it hurts all of us especially the kids, it's hard for them to understand why both sets of grandparents do things or spend time with their other grand kids and r in their life but not their's unless it's a b-day or holiday...wow they see them for an hour or so , but really don't spend time with them, the kids r usually busy playing with the other kids.It's so sad...I know their capible of being loving , caring grandparents, because they r with their other grand children and kids.
    angie3897

    Answer by angie3897 at 3:42 PM on Oct. 22, 2010