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divorce??

why do you think so many people get divorced? Because they are fed up? Because they can't "control" the other person? Money issues? Cheating? They didn't get their way? What happened to for better or WORSE.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:59 AM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Some people (I'll use myself as an example) married too young, and didn't know who they were when they got married. People and situations change, sometimes it's better to leave than live your life unhappy.
    Scuba

    Answer by Scuba at 9:02 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Women have more choices now as opposed to when the divorce rate was low. Divorce isn't considered "morally" wrong to most anymore and neither feels they have to stay to take care of the other.
    shanlaree

    Answer by shanlaree at 9:04 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • my mother always told me you stick by your husband no matter what.. my dad apparently cheated on mum a few times but mum never left him because he father told her better or for worse. i suppose it would be nice to stick by your vowels, but some relationships might just be too toxic to be in.. could you be with a man that you knew was constantly bashing you, cheating on you, spending all the money, etc etc?? there are circumstances where i believe divorce is necessary but then again i also believe people should try and work it out , if the relationship can be salvaged
    Weldo1983

    Answer by Weldo1983 at 9:04 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I was physically and emotionally abused. I was trying to work it out and go to counceling. When my 4 year old austic son shoved me and called me a f@cking bitch, right after his father did the same thing, I realized that the relationship was damaging HIM.
    Would you want YOUR child raised in that environment???
    layh41407

    Answer by layh41407 at 9:07 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • unless you have lived that divoced person's life you have no idea.....what ever happen to ye shall not JUDGE.......hmmm sometimes i wonder about that more than i wonder about divoced people.....
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:36 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I think often people go into marriage without realizing how hard it can be. Growing up when I heard people talking about getting married, they talked about it like it was the easiest thing on earth, and made everyone so happy. People tend to not discuss the issues that come along with marriage. So people go into it expecting it to be super easy and do not know how to deal with issues when they do come up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:22 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • There's a lot variables to each individual divorce. However, overall it's the intention and the idea going into the relationship to begin with. Some go into it knowing there's always an out of things get bad. Others jump in too fast without really understanding the other person. Some ignore the red flags and do it anyway. Others do it purely for children or insurance. There are a lot of stupid reasons why people even get married, let alone why they get divorced.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 10:48 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Easy to sit there and judge another's marriage when you aren't in it. I took a vow for better or worse, yes. However, the person I married was NOT the same person a year into our marriage. I was with a man who was overbearing, negative, vindictive, as well as emotionally and verbally abusive - more so to our son than to me. Maybe because I can give sh*t back to him, I don't know. I asked him to get help for anger management, he said there was no issue and we were normal. We were NOT. I was losing myself because I was constantly on egg shells around him to not provoke an argument or blow up or his pissy behavior. I was only myself in the rare times I was not around him. People around noticed bigtime how unhappy I was and saw his behaviors first-hand. Even strangers would make comments about it. I wrestled with my decision to divorce for well over a year. But after asking for him to work on us for so long...CONT'D...
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:34 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • ...you get tired of the NO answer and call a spade a spade. When I mentioned wanting a divorce, he started trying in his way, but it was not what was necessary. Flowers, notes, texts - this was not helping to find the root of the issue behind his behaviors and I knew 20, 30 years down the road I'd be really angry with myself if my son had a broken spirit, or issues with me or his dad or other relationships because of it. He is now better with our son and they have a good relationship, and I think it's because I divorced him and he finally realized he wasn't going to have me back so all he could hold onto was having a good relationship with our little man. That I'm glad for and it took me to take the action I did for him to realize what his behaviors were doing to us all.

    So that's my story, and that's why I divorced. Not exactly fitting in any of the scenarios you mentioned in your post, but I don't think it's fair...
    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:37 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • ...to assume that most people give up too easily. Even if it seems that way from your perspective, you don't know what avenues were approached in someone's marriage. You really only know what they tell you. And when I mentioned getting divorced to a few people I hadn't seen for a while, they were shocked and all thought we had seemed so happy. They only knew what I was telling them...or NOT telling them for that matter.

    rio_burb

    Answer by rio_burb at 12:39 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

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