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going for custody lawyer meeting... questions to ask?

I have a meeting with an attorney today for custody of my 4 yr old son. His father has been in his life however has had some short time absences because of his poor decisions. His new girlfriend has forced him to file for either shared parenting/full custody, he did this after i filed for child support... (which he has appealed and wont be seen again until dec.. ugh) so he has not financially even supported son since feb when he moved out. i want him removed completely from son's life... what questions should i ask the attorney today?? i have a list of a few questions already, but i know many more are out there that i am not thinking of and would like some impact when i go in and would appreciate anything....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:15 AM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • First off, if you go into it with the intentions of keeping his Father from him, the Judge isn't going to look to kindly on that.
    You need to remember this is NOT about you, it's about your child, and what's in his best interests.
    I have Sole Physical custody, and their Dad has scheduled visits. Don't confuse Joint legal Custody with Joint Custody. Ask your Attorney to explain it to you. If you want him to reside with you, go to school where you live, make that clear to your Attorney. I don't care what anyone tells you, unless he's putting your son in danger, has a drug problem, or is a criminal, you don't have the right to keep him from his Father... Sorry ,JMO..GL

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:23 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I am in agreement with MrsLeftlane. I have sole legal and residential custody of my DD but we share visitation. As for how your ex is raising your child, that is another matter. You will have to prove to the judge that it is not in the best interest of the child to continue with visitation.
    If you cannot prove without a doubt that your child is in danger when with your ex, the judge will not remove his visitation.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 11:43 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Unless his father is putting him in danger, you have NO right to keep his father out of his life.

    I understand you are frustrated. However, as mrsleftlane said, it will not be looked kindly upon if you go in saying you want the father completely out of his life.

    If he has done everything you said he has, I would be surprised if they gave him custody.

    There are different types of custody. Physical Custody is where the child primarily resides. Legal Custody just means rights to make decisions and be informed and all that. my SO has Joint Legal custody, but BM has physical custody. Which means he gets his kids based on their parenting time plan, but they live primarily with their mom. However, he has the right to make legal decisions and be informed of everything. Now BM waived child support before I was ever around (long story), but he would normally have a child support order.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:47 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Just go in and explain that you want what is best for your child. Do not make it about you. Make it about your child and it will be okay.

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:48 AM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Have your parenting plan already written up ther way you want it, like when you want the child and when the father gets the child. Otherwise they'll write one for you, which may not be what you want. Then you'll have to have them make changes later which is not the best use of your money. Ask about the lawyers experience. How many custody cases has he done, won. What does he feel about your case?

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 12:21 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Also, they will not remove the father from your child's life, and if you let the judge know that is your intention, it will hurt your case.

    Answer by EverydayMomma at 12:22 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I agree with MrsLeftlane and I want to have nothing to worry about with the girlfriend or her opinions because the judge wont even allow her near or around the hearing. Also unless he is and can be proven a drug addict or DV offender, or violent felon (with court records / police records) then there is nothing you can do to keep him from the child.

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 12:44 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

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