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Moving: Now what do I do? regards to XH and DD

I am planning on moving 20 minutes away from XH but it will cross state line. I have sole custody and we have shared visitation. I cannot get him to sit down to talk without DD present.
I feel that this is adult talk and she does not need to hear it. He says that he doesn't know when he will have time. He doesn't know that moving is what the talk will be about but I am sure that he realizes that it's coming. He asked me when we got divorced, how long it would be before I moved.
Do I call him and talk over the phone, do I just talk with DD present, or do I just go to court?
I would hope that he doesn't fight it since 1. it would cost me money, 2. He can see her anytime regardless of what the papers state, 3. He is paying less than what the state dictates for support and I could take him back for more money, 4. we have a great parenting relationship.
I think he is just trying to 'have power' over me and be in control.


Asked by Jademom07 at 11:59 AM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 34 (64,323 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I sounds like either he wants to not face that you are moving or as you said trying to make it hard on you. I would still spend the time and go to court. It might come back and bite you in the butt later if you don't. I know it is only 20 minutes away but since it is in a different state they may have different laws than the one you are in now. Hope it all works out for you GL!

    Answer by momofangels5 at 12:51 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I understand not wanting to talk in front of the kid...can you just meet at a park or a playspace somewhere? the phone will have to work if you can't meet somewhere.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:03 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Well, I'd go ahead and approach it with him, or send him a letter in writing. You should go to court and get legal permission, or he may come after you later, and you could be in trouble. My ex gave me trouble and I moved within the state. It doesn't matter if you say that he can see his child anytime, regardless of what court papers say, he may need confirmation of that depending on your relationship.

    Either way, I'd bring it up, and get legal permission. Good Luck!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 12:05 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I would just call or e-mail him; moving just 20 minutes away really isn't that big of a deal- He should be fine with it-

    Answer by daisyb at 12:08 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • 20 mins is not that far away and I would suggest if he doesnt want to talk to you about it in person then send an email explaining the situation. Also you can not move without the permission of the court anyways because it is crossing state lines.

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 12:39 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I'd just talk to him over the phone....

    Answer by Anna92464 at 12:47 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Tell him what the conversation is about before he gets to the house. That will allow him some time to prepare. Then ask him for a specific time and date for when he can come talk to you about it. If does not come, then try talking over the phone about it. If those don't work, then you may have to go to court. However, since this is in regards of your dd, it might be beneficial for her to be a part of the conversation, depending on how old she is.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 2:07 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • All great thoughts, Ladies. DD is 3 and is still in the frame of mind that when mom and dad talk it's arguing so she will be trying to 'break it up' by getting us to play with her.
    I will call him and talk on the phone, I will also have to take it to court but if he agrees, it will cost nothing to petition the court. If he won't talk or objects, it will cost $350-500.

    Comment by Jademom07 (original poster) at 2:13 PM on Oct. 22, 2010