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I think I have decided to leave my husband...

After two years of arguments- and zero change or effort on his part... Simple things, like- zero romance, him just asking how I am. I'm done.

I am hours away from my family- can't afford to live on my own- what do I do? We have a house- awful market to sell. I'm not sure where I should live. I dont want to live with his family... My daughter is 10 months old and I wouldnt wnt to take her daddy away or her grandparents. I am very miserable though and I need to leave. Now or never.... How can I get out?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:01 PM on Oct. 29, 2008 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (35)
  • I think that you should take your baby and go home. Its not going to be easy, believe that, but it has to be done. You say youve talked to him about your feelings and things havent changed, sounds like they most likely wont. A husband is supposed to be the one who cares when nobody else does and gives everything to make you smile. I agree that marriages are tough, it takes alot of work to keep it. I also think the child deserves to have happy parents, if that means they are seperated then so be it. I have a four year old that gets to see her dad every other weekend and pretty much whenever he wants. I had been with him three years before we had her and I just fell out of love. It happens, you can make it through this and you will be a stronger person at the end. Good luck and God Bless.
    Mommy_of_two_85

    Answer by Mommy_of_two_85 at 1:42 AM on Oct. 30, 2008

  • Ok. First of all you might be having Post-partum depression which is making everythign worse. I would get on a medicine and also explain to your hubby exactly how you feel. Don;t just surprise him and leave and take his baby away. Tell him that you aren't happy and feel that you want to leave. Scare him, tell him all the reasons and see what happens. Maybe he will change, leave for a few days to cool down. Don't be drastic. You have a 10 month old, do you really want to be a single mother? Do you want her to grow up with someone who isn't her daddy and miss her own? You need to think about all this and talk to HIM not us.... this is major and marriage is supposed to be for better or worse, this might be worse so get some help!
    AshJoe05

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 12:07 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • i was in the same situation 9 hrs away from my home town. i decided to leave my POS husband a million times but could never do it bc of my son. turns out after 3 years together he left me for a pink haired girl he met the night before and sent me into a horrible depression bc i didnt know where to go from there and could have possibly lost my son!.......my advice is to go back home. you will figure out something with his dad...it wont be easy but if your that unhappy it will be worth it. im remarried now to the man i used to dream about when i would cry bc my first husband just didnt love me. he said he did but didnt care about what was hurting me and didnt care about paying the bills. he did a good job pretending though. i am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOo happy i still can't believe it sometimes. and family is probably what you need to keep yourself going and start your life as a kick ass single mom
    Ethans_Ma

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 12:09 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I am the OP

    Firstly- I have warned him. He is aware. He doesnt seem to care.

    Secondly- I am on medication. This isn't just post partum.

    You are saying I should stay in a sexless, loveless marriage toa husband who makes me cry every day and cannot do somethign as simple as- ask me how I am feeling?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • by the way - do not let people guilt you about your baby not being with his father. we live a few hours away from ethans bio-father and he still hes him now and then, but his step dad loves him like his own and visa-versa. at 2 - my son called me an F'n B!!! trust your heart and THATS what will be best for your baby!
    Ethans_Ma

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 12:11 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • OMG i know just how you feel!!! lol
    i was SO there.
    you can do it!!!
    Ethans_Ma

    Answer by Ethans_Ma at 12:12 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • Do what you want but be prepared for the consequences, that's all I'm saying. I wanted to give you suggestions about fixing it, but apparently you are already to the point of leaving so just leave then. I hope it's not a surprise to him. Go to your parents, what else do you expect to do with no money? Of course you'll have half eventually, but there aren't any other real options. Good luck.
    AshJoe05

    Answer by AshJoe05 at 12:13 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • This is sad. She should feel guilty about taking his child away, he has never doen anything to the baby. Of course a 2 year old likes his step-dad, he's 2, he has to. I don't know why people even get married anymore, those vows you took apparently mean nothing. I feel sorry for your husband that your just going to up and leave him without trying
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I would suggest that you not leave before getting counseling. Being a single mom is not fun at all. My hubby lacks being romantic sometimes. Yes it makes me mad and sad, but I surrender it to the Lord.  He's working on him and I trust God.  I see other great qualities that my other exs didn't have :). 


    You need to reanalyze if you are just hormonal..not to be mean at all. That's when I get more upset at hubby. We both have it on our calendar as a reminder that if I get a loose tongue or start fires for him not to add fuel to it.   So don't make decision around that time if that's the case. I would say cheating or verbal abuse is worse and better of a reason to leave. Men are not like us women. They want respect and he want love" Try reading with him "The five love language" book.  Get help and take a deep breath and try it again.  Best wishes

    JCRestoredme

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 12:17 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • Above anon-

    You feel sorry for her husband?? Her husband that is probably not emotionally or mentally supporting her or helping out with their child. She didn't just to decide to leave him in a second. She told him how she was feeling and he didn't change. I'm sick of you religious types spouting off about how marriage is supposed to be sacred. It's people like you that support a woman staying in an abusive relationship.

    OP - good luck and I hope you get out of that situation!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:20 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

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