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My boyfriend thinks he doesn't have to help change and feed the baby. What should I do?

When our baby was first born my boyfriend was all into changing the baby and all that good stuff. When the baby was just 2 weeks old my boyfriend had to have his appendix removed so when we got home from the hospital I did everything for the baby to let my boyfriend rest and heal. When he got better things changed. He doesn't think he has to or should have to change the baby. WHen I ask him he actually says no and makes up an excuse, most of the time saying the he worked all day and is too tired. The baby is now 3 months old. What should I do. Does anyone have any advice for me?

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Asked by BLRmommy723 at 12:22 PM on Oct. 29, 2008 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (27)
  • Who gives a chit if he worked all day, so do you! My hubby works all day and when he comes home he helps with the kiddies before he even gets out of his work clothes. Next time just put the baby in his lap and go take a break!

    Answer by Christinemg0813 at 12:24 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • This is normal. Accept that you are the mom and that is part of your work assignment. As bad as it sucks, it isn't going to change. He is a MAN, of course.


    Answer by racingmomma at 12:25 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • i totally agree with Christinemg0813!

    I really dont like men like yours. Its his baby too and he better starts to realize that!

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 12:27 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • make up a reason to leave the house for a few. Say you are out of baby formula and you need to go get some. and just walk out. I know its hard to leave the little ones, but really its what I had to do. I was angry all the time b/c I worked all day and came home to clean up after everyone and make dinner, or if he doesnt think he has to help then dont do his laundry or make his dinner. It does take the men awhile to get used to taking care of someone besides themselves, so def be patient and enjoy the time you do get with the baby. Good luck

    Answer by Quintensmom at 12:27 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • No, racingmomma, this is NOT normal!

    I dont know any dads who wouldnt change the babys diaper or feed them. In fact, my hubby is doing all those things. So do all the BFs and hubbys of my friends.

    Answer by m.robertson811 at 12:28 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • Stop giving him sex , making meals for him and washing his cloths etc......When he starts complaining tell him your to busy taking care of the baby to do things for him....That might work.. good luck


    Answer by louise2 at 12:31 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • My bf had spinal fusion and they put screws in his spine and he still helped out however he could when he got home from the hospital. He couldn't lift the baby so he would sit with him and feed him or clean bottles for me.

    Answer by sbastille at 12:35 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • I agree with christine and louise. If he wont help you then dont help him! Its that simple. He helped make that baby and should help take care of him/her. He needs to step up to the role of being a father!

    Answer by Steph319 at 12:36 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • And its not normal and being a mother should not be looked at as an "assignment" It is a privelage!

    Answer by Steph319 at 12:37 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

  • well, I had to "train" my hubby to do that stuff. He didn't think he should have to. He was raised in a home that the dad doesn't do those things, that's the mom's job. Which back in the day, it was. I understand that he was raised to think what "jobs" each parent has. I just have to help him unlearn that way of thinking.

    definitely agree with the go out for a few :) although...sometimes that just leads to an even messier diaper change for you when you get home.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 PM on Oct. 29, 2008

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