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How can I make my mom understand?

So My mom is really upset we can't drive to her thanksgiving get together 5 hrs away..Reason I told her we can't come is because we've literally been thru hell these last few months we've moved twice and our car had major issues costing close to $1,300 we just don't have any money left over..Then she started bitching and griping at me cuz I couldn't come..Then went into me about xmas cuz I told her yet again it's been a very rough year financially and we'd barely be a ble to afford xmas for our own kids let alone drive clear the hell to the other end of the state..She just can't get it thru her thick skull we are broke! So now just knowing my mother when asked at thanksgiving where I was she'll start her damn bragging on how I never came and made up tons of excuses why I couldn't come..she's a real bitch when she don't get anything her way..she's also p.o'd I cant bu xmas for anyone but my kids I'm sure I'll hear abou that to

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Asked by chica679 at 1:11 PM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Level 16 (2,792 Credits)
Answers (24)
  • I would honestly tell her to grow up. Tell her that your family comes first and you will enjoy Thanksgiving with your So and kids and as far as for Christmas.... why would you buy for everyone anyhow??? The holiday is for the kids, not adults. Damn, I am sorry your mother sucks.

    Answer by bcauseimthemom at 1:14 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • It sounds like you're just as ready to give up on your mother as she is on you. If you really want to make her understand, keep talking to her. Eventually it will sink in. Tell her if she really wants you to be there, maybe she can contribute to the cost of the trip, because otherwise you won't be able to make it. My family is only two hours away, and I'd love to go every year for holidays, but my mother-in-law has a monopoly on those days for some reason. If I take her baby boy away from her for the holidays I'm the spawn of satan.

    Answer by BisketLiss at 1:15 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I'm having similar issues with my MIL. She's planning all these things and expects us to participate but we are on a very tight budget and refuse to waiver from that and it's caused a ton of drama. Her feelings get all hurt but she and we are in very different phases of our lives (we have children going off to college next year) and hubby is hoping to retire early and she simply doesn't understand why we can't live (a.k.a. SPEND) the way she does. It's hard but you have to do what's right for you and your family. Hang in there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Do we share the same relatives? Totally understand your scenario. Sorry cuz I know how hard it is and that extra stress doesn't help. Unfortunately you can't make her understand, you can't make anyone do anything. I had to take our and start informing my extended family what is up with me BEFORE my mom started her lying crap. Maybe you can too. Telling just a couple of family members you can't make it because there's a little thing called a recession might help. Hope you have a great holiday season!

    Answer by luv2mum at 1:16 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I would love to hear your mom's side to the story, I would personally go without food if I had to and make that once in a year connection.

    Answer by older at 1:18 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • its a shame she doesnt understand! y cant she come see u and do a late thanksgiving? we have 2 thanksgivings one w/ my family and one w/ my hubby's and 4 christmas's its insane! if she doesnt understand thats her problem and it sounds like she is being selfish. just ignore her and some new drama will happen in a few days im sure! :-)

    Answer by Caroline2010 at 1:18 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I hope you have a great holiday season too luv2mum..

    Comment by chica679 (original poster) at 1:20 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Tell her you Can make it... IF she pays for you to come there.. can't SHE come to see you closer to both holidays to make it easier on you guys?? I would say Too bad and let her talk her crap.. if you're broke, you're broke.. that's all there is too it.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:20 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • It is a shame. If she wants you there THAT bad, ask her to contribute to the cost of the trip. If she knows of your financial situation (which it sounds like she does), then she shouldn't give you trouble. Or ask her to come to you!

    Answer by SweetPieMama24 at 1:20 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • here's the thing older what happens if you're flat broke and can't make the trip I refuse to make my kids starve furthermore why can't she come to me??

    Comment by chica679 (original poster) at 1:21 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

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