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Is it wrong of me to not want my ds friend over to my house?

Ok, this boy has been to my house before with his brother, mother and sister. They moved to our town 2 years ago and we befriened them. Wishing we hadn't because they stress me out. When they have been over they never respect my house rules always argue with each other, someone always ends up crying and something is always broken or messed with by the time they leave. I have to paint my ceiling because of them, fix my siding . We have rules in our house for respect and safety, we expect everyone to follow them while over. They do only if they feel like it, they have told me flat out I don't have to listen to you. Their mother never disaplines them ever, she's afraid to so she just yells.She is always negative about everything, drives me nuts.They only want to be with my ds when they have nothing better or when we have something new.I don't want them at my house, is that wrong of me, is the time at school enough ?

Answer Question

Asked by d-4 at 4:21 PM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • If they cant respect your home, you or your rules, then in no way are you wrong for not wanting them there. I would be the same way.

    Answer by xxMasonsMommaxx at 4:23 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • No, it's your house and if they're that destructive, I wouldn't want them over either.

    Answer by geminilove at 4:26 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • You are not wrong. As the good old saying goes "my house, my rules" if you don't let your kids act that way you can't let 'friends'. What would that teach your kids? Stand your ground there are plenty of more friends in life to be made that will cherish your family and your rules =)

    Answer by luv2mum at 4:26 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • It is your house and you don't have to have anyone there that you don't want to. I live by that rule, I even told my SIL if she can't be respectful in my house she is not welcome. No one should make you uncomfortable or miserable in your own home. With that being said does your ds have other kids that he can play with? Or require them to play outside. There is no reason they have to play inside. My SD could never play in the house nice so she and her friends always had to play outside, that was just a rule. That way if the kids aren't inside the mother shouldn't be there either but if she stills tries to come over I would just always make an excuse that you are busy hopefully she will get the hint. But there's no reason to continue putting yourself through that.

    Answer by sue118 at 4:34 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • When they say "I don't have to listen to you" You say "when you're at my house, you follow my rules or you get out". Write the mom a note, or call her & tell her strait up that if they cannot respect your rules, they are not to come over anymore. You have to put your foot down. Don't worry about hurting anyone's feelings, you are being taken advantage of & being disrespected. It's time for you to get mad & tell all of them what's up.

    I would have told those kids off the first time they ever did something messed up at my house. If they're mom gets pissed i disciplined them, fine then...please don't have your child come to my house.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:36 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Do you let your child go to their house? I do not know if you can do one way and not the other.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 5:23 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I let my child go to their house once without me, they live by a lake, I was promised they were not allowed to go near the water without adult supervision, when I returned 45 mins later found my kids out on the dock without lifejackets and no adult in sight, she came out of the house saying oh I'm so sorry, I didn't know they were down there. Both parents were inside watching t.v. My children have not been back there since without me, they had a wonderful time running up and down the road and climbing trees, playing in the lake and god knows what else, & she wonders why they can't come over?????

    Comment by d-4 (original poster) at 5:35 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Nope, if they can't follow the rules, they can't come over.

    Answer by scout_mom at 7:05 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • They are not the kind of people you want your kids around. Don't be mean about it, just always be busy, or say it's not a good time, and lessen the contact.

    Answer by SweetLuci at 5:43 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I had the same problem with a child, and he is no longer invited over to my house.....

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:45 AM on Oct. 27, 2010

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