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5 Bumps

How many is too many?

So Dh goes to the Eagles (a local bar once a week (what we agreed on). But last week he went 3 times and I told him I wasn't happy about that and it makes me feel like he doesn't want to be home. Well he went Monday (18th), ok fine but hes there again right now.

I have no problem with him needing me time and guy time but seriously WTF?

Its starting to piss me off that he knows it bugs me and its like he doesn't give a crap.

How would you approach this? I want MATURE responses. No I am not calling the cops, or throwing his stuff out, or locking him out or divorcing him.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:27 PM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (18)
  • I think you should sit down and discuss the whole issue...explain to him that you need you time just as much as he needs him time!

    Answer by MrSy8S10 at 6:28 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Well you already approached him and it didn't do anything. You can try again which from the sounds of it won't do much good. You won't get many responses with how well you narrowed it down. I personally would just locked him out if he couldn't respect my feelings.

    Answer by mommy_of_two388 at 6:29 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • No to mention is it expensive to buy beers at a bar.

    Answer by Roadfamily6now at 6:30 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I'd wonder why, all of a sudeen, his habits have changed. Is it something at the bar (like a new TV so he can watch the game w/ his friends) or is there something at home he's avoiding? it could be something minor and he just doesn't "get" why it's a big deal...

    If you don't want to get extreme, I'd really suggest talking to him face to face about it when you're both pretty relaxed. I wouldn't bring it up when you're already bickering because it will just explode more.

    You could also see if you can have someone watch the child/ren for you and join him once in awhile.

    Answer by geminilove at 6:33 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • It's going to be hard to talk again with out him feeling attacked, but come up with 3 questions for when he gets home about it. Say them out loud over and over so you calm down before the talk. Then, see where he takes the convo. Good luck!

    Answer by DonnaPinitonya at 6:34 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Well, do as you wish, but my ex was the same way.. which is why he is my EX. It never gets better Hon. I have to be honest with you. I raised my children by myself. He was always out drinking.

    Answer by m-avi at 6:35 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • He may not realize the extend of how serious you are about this bothering you. I would have a serious talk with him and tell him you understand and don't have a problem with him having his time but that you want to have your time with him as well or the opportunity for you to have equal time to yourself and that you both need to compromise.

    Answer by LuvmyFam6 at 6:41 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Just tell him you do not like him going so many times a week. Ask him did you do something that is making him go more. You would like to spend more time with him. And how about you getting some you time once in a while.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:41 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • go with him one night get a sitter and just go hang out with your man ......

    Answer by lilshybree83 at 6:48 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • we don't have anyone to babysit and he knows I want to go out with him, he just never takes me out. BTW I do go out once a week (well now I do).

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 7:02 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

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