Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

How do I handle my son?

During elementary school, my son made good grades and never got in any trouble. This is his first year of middle school and I don't know what happened. He brings home bad grades, he don't turn papers in, he is cutting up in class, etc. I feel like he is out of control because this is not like him at all. He has always played basketball, football, and baseball and every teacher has always liked him. This year , he didn't feel play football but plans to play basketall. I have threatened to not let him play basketball but as punishment, but I do want him to stay occupied with sports and be around good influence. Today he came home with 40's, 35's, 0's as grades and a mark on his behavior sheet for talking ugly to a girl in class. I made him stay home from the homecoming dance and told him he could not go outside at all. Does anyone have advice on how to handle an 11-year old that is not applying his-self in school?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:43 PM on Oct. 22, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Answers (6)
  • Homecoming dance for an 11 year old.
    He is trying to find out where he fits in at middle school.
    He probably grew up in his elementary and knew his position.
    Now it is a huge field and he is not sure what his role is.
    Besides he is in the youngest class there.
    It is time to stay completely on top of everything.
    Many schools now have daily assignments for classes on line.
    Go in and talk to all his teachers.
    Find out what is going on with him in school.
    Is he still hanging out with his elementary friends.
    What activities outside of school does he participate in?
    There should be no tv or social computer until his grades are brought up.
    Two hours each night should be spent with homework with your supervision.
    If he says he does not have any homework. Give him some and the next day get in touch with his counselor and teachers and find out what homework he should be doing to raise his grades.
    Do not let up.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 6:57 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Well, mom, actually this is the age when some children will start expressing themselves in ways which they never did before. There is no explanation, it's just something they do. I was once informed that either your child goes through it now and straightens out before he graduates, or he will remain great, but start this after he gets out of school. You are actually lucky, because it's harder to control after he gets older. (I believe this to be true, because both my kids did each of them). Anyway, You are the mom and it's time to take action. You must be firm, but in control. You must let him know you mean business... which simply means following through. Set limits and make sure they are followed. Special Note: This is the age they start not liking you. It's okay, you are not trying to be his friend. Let all the school authorities know you are to be notified of any trouble he gets into. Hang in there.

    Answer by m-avi at 7:18 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I wouldn't take away basketball. He needs to play sports. He could fall in with the wrong crowd if he doesn't.

    Answer by mompam at 7:23 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • I sub. teach, & let me tell you, middle schoolers are simply out of their minds! I'll take elem. or even high schoolers over Jr. high any time. There is just something about the adjustment to not being babies, but not quite grown ups, but trying to act like they are. Hormones are starting to swarm their brains & take over the common sense lobe! Stay on him like white on rice. Know who his friends are, what work he has & when it's due, etc. And he will have to bring up those grades if he hopes to play any type of sports. Once he realizes you'll be up his butt like a colonoscopy, he should hopefully straighten up.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 7:33 PM on Oct. 22, 2010

  • Middle school is a time for change and finding their way in life. I would not take away basketball..he needs the time with kids and the outlet sports offer. He is going to have to learn the natural consequences of not doing his homework and turning it in. It is hard to watch our kids fail, but sometimes that is what needs to happen. Keep communication open between him and you and between you and the teachers at his school. The more you nag, the more he will resist.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:02 PM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Go to the school and make your presence known if you can. Follow him to classes and sit in during classes. So hi you have no problem with babysiting him in front of his class mated if he's going to act like a baby. Check homework every day and call teachers once a week for his progress. He might be hanging around the wrong crowd. Some children just stray at time. My 17 year old did and that's why i have these rules for the other kids. My 17 year old also stared acting u in 6th grade and eventually dropped out of school. Try talking to a counselor at school they might have a club he can join like boys to gentelmen or a mentoring program most respnd well to it. Keep trying different things don't give up.

    Answer by suelo74 at 10:23 AM on Oct. 26, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.