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4 Bumps

Communication issues

What is the best communication tool you have in your relationship? I have been married for 10 years and still have communication problems. How do you keep from fighting when you are really mad?

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JackieGirl007

Asked by JackieGirl007 at 12:49 AM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 35 (73,191 Credits)
Answers (13)
  • by growing up and being mature and that has to be mutual or it dont work.
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 12:52 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • my marriage is falling apart because we have communication problems.
    koensmom22

    Answer by koensmom22 at 12:52 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • if i have a issues with my husband ill some times text him about instead of talkn face to face cus i feel hes ignoreing me wen i talk to him in person so if i text him he responds better to our issue n before u know it were done talkn about it n forget what were fighting about lol
    sandi_361

    Answer by sandi_361 at 12:55 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • my marriage is also falling apart because of communication issues and it's only been 3 months :(
    meagan678

    Answer by meagan678 at 1:07 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • We have read books together and spent time talking about our different temperaments/communication styles. We try to remember these things when we are having an argument. It's important to always be honest and not hold grudges (which can be hard). We also don't say hurtful things to each other when we fight..because that gets you nowhere. Sometimes you just have to humble yourself and say sorry, even when it's not always all your fault.
    Anyway, what has been the most helpful is knowing that my husband and I have different temperaments and he doesn't always look at things the same way I do.
    tobys.mommy

    Answer by tobys.mommy at 1:14 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • We just have a mutual respect for each other. We have several "rules" for our disagreements. No yelling, each persona has 2 minutes to "state their case", no mname calling, we never use statements such as "you always" you never". ANd there is to be absolutely NO threats of separation or divorce. We also do not hold grudges.
    stressedmomma13

    Answer by stressedmomma13 at 2:04 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • When things are getting a bit heated we have a code phrase and whoever says it the other has to step away from the room so both can cool off regroup and finish without breaking things...it works every time...
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:39 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Also when doing basic daily communication about daily things...we just do it at the dining room table and there is never any issues with daily convos...those are easy like buttering toast

    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:41 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Wait, until you are not soo emotional about the issue. That has worked for us. In the beginning we just hashed it out as it came along, but now we wait. You know if you give yourself time to think not obsess but think it may not really be worth fighting over. Communication issues are big, ((hugs)) I hope you find a way to communicate effectively.
    blessedwithree

    Answer by blessedwithree at 2:54 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • when my hubby and me need to talk we always face each other. and it is true don't hold grudges when you do we actually stop being so truthful to each other cause of the grudges. we have been married 27yrs and i'v asked my 11yr old son if he's ever seen me,his father arguing? he said no. always talk in private, no yelling. and even when your upset with your spouse always try to talk as if every thing is o.k.
    rosemary640

    Answer by rosemary640 at 4:21 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

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