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5 Bumps

Why is it so hard for some women to walk away from an abusive relationship...???

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iNk-FrEaK

Asked by iNk-FrEaK at 1:48 AM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 23 (15,946 Credits)
Answers (14)
  • I think there are many reasons.....first they may not recognize it as abusive, it may just seem normal to them, especially if they grew up in a house where there was abuse. Sometimes they think they deserve the abuse, and that they're actually lucky that the abuser even wants to be with them. Sometimes....they just don't know how to get out. They don't know where they'll go, or how they'll support themselves or their kids. Sometimes they're afraid that the abuser will be able to take their kids from them, sometimes they don't believe in divorce,......I'm sure there are many other reasons.

    It's hard to judge when you aren't in that persons shoes......
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 1:53 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • For most women its a self esteem issue. Deep down they don't think they deserve or can find better or that they deserve to be treated like they are. Some women just don't feel like they have anywhere else to go/ anyone to turn to if they did try to leave, and some are more scared of what the guy will do if they leave than what will happen if they stay. There's a whole list. If you're asking about a friend the best thing you can do is be there for her. Let her know you're there for her no matter what and encourage her to leave the jerk that's hurting her. Don't let her or the guy push you away for trying help.
    Skipo510

    Answer by Skipo510 at 1:54 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • because you love him and you blame your self it was my fault that he hit me or he had hard day at work or i was raise that he was the man i am the woman i take orders from him,or i can not leave my kids where we go i have no money ,afraid that their family won't help they will ,i know this because i was there it took me long time that it is not my fault ,he is broken he needs to be fix ,yes i can and have move on i am lot stronger then he or i thought ,i can stand up i can say no i will no longer have that in my life,and door in my life swings both ways and i can lock it any time
    dutchcanadain

    Answer by dutchcanadain at 2:01 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • generally speaking, abuse doesnt happen overnight. an abuser starts out slowly with breaking down the partner's self esteem, making them feel as if they are never good enough, not smart enough etc. they usually begin breaking the partner away from family and friends so that thier partner is isolated. then might come the first hit. followed by the OMG i am so sorry, the honey moon period, maybe even gifts and amazingly wonderful behaviour and treatment towards the absed partner. inagine too that by this time there are children in the picture. at some point the abuser has usually taken over all finances, has got all social security cards, birth certificates, drivers licenses etc. the abused partner also feels trapped, afraid. maybe the abuser has threatened to kill familyt, kill the children etc. again imagine this happens usually over the course of YEARS . its not a simple thing sometimes to just walk away
    BlacksheepSati

    Answer by BlacksheepSati at 2:17 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • because we are broken from the moment we are married...it is a slow and degrading process in which we don't realize it is occuring until it is too late...I know 16 yrs of it I know...
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 2:35 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • after living in this environment for so long i guess you just feel that no one would want you, youve suffered abuse stating ur ugly, no good etc and ull always be alone, yes u may say well thats better than being abused but theres a lot of psycology there too .. i guess u just start to believe what you're hearing
    san78

    Answer by san78 at 7:53 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Because they do not want to be alone.
    mamacita69930

    Answer by mamacita69930 at 7:55 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Maybe for some people it is because they are stubborn and don't want to admit that they failed at a marriage. They hold on longer thinking that things might change. For some women its not about not being able to lve alone, it is about pride.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Well it was hard for me cause he had all the money, we lived a really nice life style, money ,fast cars most beautiful home i ever seen. my kids never needed they always had, so with no money and no car of my own where was i to go, i say it was like he was my life support, not to mention he always said id have nothing with out him, and all the other terrible things they say.and you know sometimes they make us think its our fault why things are the way they are.i always said i would never let a man treat me that way, and id leave if they did, guess i learned until your there u don't know what you would do
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 10:01 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I came from an abusive family....so did he......it took me years to realize his behavior was abusive because he never hit me....it took me years to realize my behavior was abusive because I never hit him......He changed first, and then I changed, and we are working on it....but our oldest daughter is in an abusive marriage.....and doesn't realize that some of her behaviour is abusive too....she is thinking about leaving....but I hope to God she learns how to respect other people the way she wants to be respected.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

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