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2 Bumps

Should I just ignore my so called friend?

I have been carpooling for the past three months one of my son's friends to football practices and also to other events on the kid's day off from school. Every time I woudl see the kid's mom that I carpool she would tell me how she was going to invite us over for dinner and or coffee or ice cream. We never got the invite ans hse kept telling me how she was going to have us over. But then my husband and I bumped into her in a supermarket and she made a quick excuse about being invited over her friend's house and she is so busy...Last week I e mail her that I took her son to an event and lunch and she acted like she got a little insulted. I was just informing her. Then I e-mailed her and told her that I don't mind carpooling and helping out but my hubby complained that no one ever comes over to socialize and that I am too shy about inviting them over and she never ever wrote back. WTH?? Now her son does not want to carpool. WTH


Asked by mamacita69930 at 7:52 AM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 21 (11,886 Credits)
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Answers (12)
  • I would just let the whole thing go. Unless she calls and asks you to carpool again, I would chalk it up to experience and not worry about it.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:56 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Was that part of the deal that if you car pooled her son, they would hang out with you guys?? If so, I guess she isn't following threw on her end of the deal, maybe she isn't really a friend? Otherwise I would just let it go- it kinda sounds like she felt pressured and maybe that's why her son isn't carpooling. If you want to continue to drive him I wouldn't make any more comments and just see what happens. If it was too much of a burden just wory about taking your own son.

    Answer by skittles1108 at 8:42 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I would just let it go....she doesn't sound like she is interested in socializing, but doesn't know how to say so....if her son no longer wants to carpool, then I assume his mom told him not to anymore......people are complicated, relationships are complicated, and being shy is often misinterpreted as rude (I am very shy and a solitary person) yourself.....that's all you can do....

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:25 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Sorry momma some people do things like that they say they would like you to come over but never invite its just something people say. If she would have meant it you would have gone over. She does not really sound like a real friend maybe you can start to talk to the other mothers maybe have a pizza party at your house and meet them have pizza for the kids and maybe something else for the moms I am sure some of them feel the sameway this way your opening the door for it to happen. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:01 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Well you are kind of making it sound like you expected her to hang out with you because you took her son places. If that was part of the deal then yeah, I'd be upset. But if it wasn't then I wouldn't try to push things on her.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 9:23 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I think some people say there going to do things, They really may want to do, However time or other issues seem to come in between, My mom does this all the time, I think you should let it go also, I have issues with being shy also, Some people think I'm a snob cause i dont talk right away, GOOD LUCK

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 9:27 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • You are expecting something from her because you drive her kid around. That is not OK. You either do things for people out of the kindness of your heart with no expectations, or don't do them at all.

    Have you invited them over to your house? Why not have a dinner & invite the whole family. Why does she have to be the one inviting you? Maybe she really is busy. I mean, if you have to drive her kid around all the time, it's obvious that she's got a lot of things on her hands. Call her & ask if y'all can set a date for dinner at your house. Maybe once you invite her ove a few times, she'll invite you over her house.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 11:56 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Give her some space. She may feel guilty of not getting you over or there may be a problem with her house and she does not want you to see it. In the mean time, find someone you are close to, and invite them over. Have a barbecue and picnic. If nothing else, you could invite your friend over to try and make amends. You can not expect everyone else to invite you over if you don't invite them to your house. Good luck.


    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 9:10 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • She comes over for New Years and we always make room if they do not go anywhere on holidays. I honestly think she got a little insulted that I told her that my husband resents not having people over that much. SHe kind of avoided my hubby in the store trying to make it look like she was on her way out to her gf's. I don't care about going to her house. But don't act like you're the victim when I am the one driving up to an hour and then some and always making sure her son is ok and then you blow me off.... Well I guess that is what it feels like to be a doormat.

    Comment by mamacita69930 (original poster) at 9:27 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Ok. She always came over. I do not expect anything from her for carpooling. Nothing. It was all her idea. I could care less about beer and crackers. All I want is a recipropical friedship that is not based on need on her part and stepping on my toes to get what she wants when she wants it and I get absolutely nothing and I mean nothing in return except e-mails which she longer does. Why am at fault for helping her out in need? Come on I can not be adoormat forever and guess what I'm done . I'll help her but hte kids does not ask for a ride anymore. So to get back at me she makes her husband drive 35 minutes to go and get him when I am right there. That is so silly. But hey she is the one that got insulted and she makes her husband shlep like that. It is all good and I am definitely on top on this situation.

    Comment by mamacita69930 (original poster) at 12:33 PM on Oct. 23, 2010