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3 Bumps

How can I ignore this?

My DH talked to his mom the other day. He always talks to her. However, she got mad at me because I did not get my tubes tied after our last baby was born. She told him that I was selfish and not a good person because of this. She also told him that I was keeping them apart. I have never kept them apart and constantly try to get to them together as much as possible, but she blames me. Now he is mad at me because I did not get my tubes tied is under the idea that I have some ulterior motive by having children. By the way, we both decided to keep the option of having another child open, now he is constantly mad at me. Should I ignore this or what?

 
krissyvelazquez

Asked by krissyvelazquez at 9:04 AM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 19 (8,028 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Your not getting your tubes tied is none of her business.....she and your husband both need to be told this and to somehow understand this.....her getting mad at you is a control issue, and even though your husband doesn't realize, she is controlling you and him through guilt and anger....He needs to always side with you with his mother, and keep her out of your private life, she is crossing boundaries and he is allowing it.....this is tricky, though because a mom and son relationship is tricky.....they both need to cut the apron strings and have a different, more adult relationship.....Stand up to both of them...don't allow them to pull you into this drama.....be blunt....and demand that they respect you....accept nothing less.....there should be no "they" . You are his wife, that gives you first position in the hierarchy of family.....let him know this....
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 10:31 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I think I would try to remind him that he already knew your tubes weren't tied, You both agreed to that. So he needs to realize its his and your life. yes i would be angry
    kileighsmommie

    Answer by kileighsmommie at 9:08 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • i would sit him down and have a major talk with him right know......your opening line should be ......are you married to me or your mother?
    because honestly if the two of you all ready talked about this then its none of his mother buziness and he shouldn't be talking to her about private relationship matters.......good luck
    cara124

    Answer by cara124 at 9:34 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I'd be furious, it's your body. Nobody has the right to tell you what to do with your body. If he's so stuck-on no more children, he could fix himself.
    ponchinmom

    Answer by ponchinmom at 9:32 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Crap, you married a mama's boy, didn't you? I don't think you should ignore it. If he has an unhealthy attachment to his mother and she can manipulate him like this, you need to talk to him about it.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 9:10 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Isn't getting snipped a lot easier then typing tubes? Why does the woman always have to be the "birth control". What happens when his mom is too much and you leave him and want to have kids with someone else? Okay, maybe that's too far, but jeez it's your body and tying your tubes is a huge decision. How many kids do you have?
    sunshine58103

    Answer by sunshine58103 at 9:41 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • If he's so against having more children, then why doesn't he have a vasectomy? It's easier/quicker, cheaper, and less dangerous. I agree with the PP. It sounds like he's a momma's boy and has an unhealthy attachment to her. I don't think you can or should ignore this problem. You have every right to be angry. Sounds like you need to have a much needed talk with your DH.
    HaydensMama07

    Answer by HaydensMama07 at 10:16 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I would talk to her and him maybe it will work and maybe not but you are in between a rock and a hard place married to a mommas boy and she will do anything to reclaim her son you need to sit down and talk to him. Start by asking who he is married to and remind him you both decided to keep the option open. GL Momma
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 9:26 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • It's none of her business but to keep peace I'd get them both in the same room and bring up the subject telling her you BOTH decided to keep your options open. It's a decision between a dh and dw not their moms!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:07 AM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Totally agree with ponchimom!
    MrsWilmot

    Answer by MrsWilmot at 12:33 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

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