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2 Bumps

Love or money?

If you had a choice between you and hubby both working full time jobs and rarely ever seeing each other or your kids as they grew up, so you could live fairly comfortably and afford day care for your kids.... OR.... Have one of you work full time and you work part time when they come home/ have them work a second job, so you could be home with and raise the kids, keep them out of daycare, but still not see much of your SO and be poor... what would you do?

Would the money be more important to have then being able to raise and be close to your children?

Answer Question

Asked by VelvetCat at 1:15 PM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 10 (400 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • We did the poor thing it sucked if I did it again I would pick the money.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 1:21 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I've been both a working mom and a SAHM. I would happily work again if I needed to in order to make sure my kids had everything they needed. When I worked outside of the home, I had regular date nights with my kids. I didn't miss out on anything, because when I was home, I was home with them. My ex and I had time together after they went to sleep. They loved daycare, and learned social skills that really helped them when they went into regular school. Money is very important, and I still was raising my children, I just had the help of a daycare. It's a matter of balance.

    Answer by Scuba at 1:25 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I choose my kids. But that's something that was important to me from the beginning. My parents both worked and I felt neglected even though we spent plenty of quality time together. I choose to stay home and live frugally so that I won't miss a thing and my husband and I can enjoy his time off work as a family in a clean home. After the baby is a year old, I work part time to help out with some bills and when all of my kids are off to kindergarten, I'll be returning to work full-time. I see no reason to stay home to guard an empty nest. Even when times are tough I have to weight it all over again and I couldn't stand to miss a milestone with my babies. The money isn't worth it to me.

    Answer by cainjes at 2:46 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Oh...and with him working I wouldn't see him any more if I was! I would see him less.

    Answer by cainjes at 2:47 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I was in that situation and it was horrible. No job is worth sacrificing the quality of your relationship.

    Answer by HotMama330 at 3:26 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Go back to school, get a better job, and make more money with one job

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:39 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • And when it comes to kids, it is about the quality of the time, not the quantity

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:40 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I too, was the SAHM while our children were little, but now that they are school aged, I am a working mom! But, since I'm a teacher, I'm home when they are, and I never miss a beat on what's happening with them, or miss anything going on at school. My husband has been with his company for almost 30 years, and has a lot of flex time and telecommuting options, so he is also sure to be involved with our children. :o)

    I would never give up working so much that I had to pay to have someone else raise my kids. Which is the reason why my husband and I didn't get married or have children until we were in our mid to late 30's. Often times after all is said and done, child care and job related expenses end up being a wash--you don't really earn enough money to make worth missing out on your children's lives.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 9:06 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • School doesnt always mean a better job. I know plenty of people with great degrees that cant find a job cause noone can pay them what they are worth...

    Comment by VelvetCat (original poster) at 9:07 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I would (and did) opt to be with the children. Time with family can never be replaced, and our children grow so fast. Also time as a family is also important. I know there are great babysitters and day cares out there but no one can care for your family like you can because no other person cares as much as you do.

    Answer by CorrinaWithrow at 11:55 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

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