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I have an 8yearb old son from someone else but got wth my partner now a few mnths after having my son so he calls him dad.Now we our expecting a child together so technically it's his first biological child.How do i handle this situation i'm afraid my son might notice smething different.My partner says it's not going to be different but what if he treats our first son diffferent.What should i do?

Answer Question

Asked by mse831 at 3:35 PM on Oct. 23, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • I think you're worrying abouit something that hasn't even happened yet. Life has enough stress concentrate on what is going on now and worry about other stuff if it starts to happen.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 3:37 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • he has to treat your son different because he is 8. there will be differences, but not necessarily because they are not biologically related. trust your partner, have some faith, relax and enjoy your growing family!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 3:38 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Relax. Don't worry before you have something to worry about.

    Answer by Hazelnutkin at 3:40 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Having a little faith in what your partner is saying and don't think about the "what if's". Those "if's" may never happen.

    Answer by musicmom08 at 3:42 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I already had 3 kids when I met my fiance he treats my kids as if they were his own and in fact my kids would rather he be their real father than their own father we are about to have what will be my 4th and his 1st and im not worried because he has never been mean to my kids

    Answer by 405mom at 3:42 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Borrowed troubles. Relax and enjoy today...

    Answer by BluDog at 4:06 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I had a 7 year old son from a previous marriage when I got pregnant with 2nd son. My husband never treated him any differently than the 2 boys we ended up having together. My oldest son is now 28, and has always told people he picked out his own dad. There have never been any "steps" or "halves" in our family, and I feel really grateful for that. You're already pregnant, your husband has been a good dad to your son.....just relax and be thankful !

    Best Wishes to you!!

    Answer by ohwrite at 4:06 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I agree, relax and don't worry about it. My dad isn't my bio dad, but he and my mom got married when I was 2 and had been together since I was 1. They went on to have have 3 more girls and Dad never treated me any differently than my sisters. Your partner has been raising your son for 8 years as his dad - those 8 years are not going to be forgotten because suddenly there's a new baby.

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 4:36 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Thank you all so much for your support.It feels really good to finally have someone to talk to especially women who are in the same situation.I think im mainly worried cuz all he taklks about is how he hopes its a boy so he can carry on his name and i dont want our son to hear that should i even stress on that.

    Comment by mse831 (original poster) at 4:44 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Just because it may not have worked out for some people doesn't necessarily mean it will happen to you. Don't assume the worst. Give him a chance, who knows, he may not treat them any different. Since your son calls him Dad, that should tell you a lot.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:01 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

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