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2 Bumps

Please help need advice and have no one to turn to???

i love this guy like crazy...we started dating in 09 for almost 5 mths. We lost a baby in that time, then i to moved to AL We tried long distance until about august, but then he told me he cheated. we split and We remained friends...We tried again last October, I ended up getting cancer and got really down and pretty much pushed him away. he was still there for me when the pain was unbareable or because my daughter (from my ex) i could barely pick up and i felt a failure as a mom due to the pain and treatment. He stuck through as my friend... I beat the cancer and we ended up trying in april lasted 4 months and ended due to long distance... He is in college and will graduate with his BA in may. He can move here with me when he graduates but i wont allow him to earlier since he has worked so hard to get his BA. He wants to come down in 2 weeks and talk to me about makin it work. I do love him. but i dont know what to do.

Answer Question
 
Crystal8788

Asked by Crystal8788 at 4:21 PM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Relationships

Level 3 (25 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • "but then he told me he cheated"
    um that
    adelinasmommy

    Answer by adelinasmommy at 4:24 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Ya thats what im confused about he did tell me he cheated but at the same time he stood by me through cancer and through everything that has happened this crappy year. We where living in seperate states at the time and couldnt even see eachother.... It was wrong of him... i know that but i cant get over what happiness he has brought me at the same time...
    Crystal8788

    Comment by Crystal8788 (original poster) at 4:35 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I agree that the cheating thing is taboo for building a relationship on ...sorry but I would say stay friends and thats all
    4_28_bbboy

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 5:07 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • The question is does he love you? Flings can happen during a long distance relationship. He respected you enough to tell you. Don't assume it was a "sordid affair". Lots of talking needs to happen if both of you are entertaining a shot at a long term relationship. Sounds like he cares a great deal for you, to have nursed you through your cancer. (congrats on beating it, byw...)Let him come to VISIT. Talk. Talk. Talk some more. Be realistic about your expectations and feelings with each other. You may very well have a more solid base than you think for a forever thing...or you may find in sharing with each other that you don't want the same things, and would be better suited to being friends. There is only one way to find that out....dialogue. Best of luck to you!
    mommyx9

    Answer by mommyx9 at 5:14 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • i say if u can forgive him for the cheated and if he is truly sorry for it you'll know through his actions not words , i'd tell him if you move down here we should stay friends and build off of that and if it turns into more than just friends so be it, let things happen naturally, if it's meant to be it will form into a romantic relationship but if not then you will have a friend at the least.
    angie3897

    Answer by angie3897 at 5:49 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • i would give him a shot...he sounds like a great guy...people cheat, not all people, but MOST...its not necessarily true that he will cheat again either, eventhough women will tell you that...i have cheated on my SO before (and he cheated on me, both more than once) but i would NEVER do it again. also, cheating is not the ultimate betrayal...lying is and he was honest with you. i'm recovering from cancer myself and i know how hard it is...if he stuck by you through cancer (when most friends even disappear) then he will stick by you through anything. you cant go through life scared, you've got to put yourself out there sometimes.
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 8:38 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

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