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3 Bumps

do you ever feel like you love your husband but not in love with him? or vice versa?

i do. i was always madly in love with him we were friends for years and then hooked up and got pregnant, shortly after she was born we got married and shortly after that we got pregnant again. we've been married for 1.5 years. i always knew that i loved him more than he loved me but in the beginning i felt like he did love me. now, i feel like i am a burden to him. he never wants to go anywhere with me when we could get a babysitter, we have sex like once a month now, gives me "grandma" kisses all the time, he gets easily annoyed when i want to talk and takes it as bitching when i am really just trying to talk to him. he cheated on me emotionally twice with two different girls in the first year of marriage but i know he hasnt since. sometimes i feel like he doesnt want to be here he just doesnt wanna tell me... :(


Asked by Anonymous at 4:55 PM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Being in love, takes action on the part of both partners. That being in love feeling is brought on by how partners treat one another overall, how they interact, how they view one another, and how they express those things.

    Built up hurt feelings, resentments, and anger, do just the opposite. They create a wedge between partners. And those partners become distant and disconnected.. That's why one can still love their partner, but not "be in love" with them any longer.

    In order to regain that 'in love' feeling, it takes actions and effort on the part of both partners. The first step. Honestly and openly (Both partners) lay out all the issues/problems/resentments.etc on the table with one another. Then BOTH must decide that they are willing to put in the effort it takes to work out those issues so they are no longer slowly poisening the relatioship. And BOTH must put in the effort to make each other fall in love again

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:10 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Marriage counseling and maybe you should sit down and ask him right out. GL Momma

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:59 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I dont believe I was ever really in love with my husband.... never madly in love that is for sure. I love him like I do family memebers, I cant imagine him not being in my life but that is it. I I also believe he feels the same but we do plan on being married until one of us dies .

    Answer by 2lilbumblebees at 5:02 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I am actually more in love with him now than ever...I would suggest marriage counseling.

    Answer by 4_28_bbboy at 5:05 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • You are in a tough spot, my friend. This is going to be one of two things; either it's a guidepost to get you two talking and romancing again, or it's a sign that the relationship has served it's purpose and it's time for you both to move on. Complicated by our society which just never accepts that this can be the case when there are children involved, you need to have a time of soul-searching, and a long, sincere talk with your hubby. Accept that he MAY want out - that he MAY just feel trapped, decide together whether you both WANT it to work, and if so, how will you accomplish that? But if he wants to go, how will you both accomplish that? This should not be a war - you don't need that. But you may be growing in different directions - it happens, it's difficult and sad, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. Too complex an issue to expound on here - hit me up if you want to chat about it.

    Answer by mommyx9 at 5:08 PM on Oct. 23, 2010