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2 Bumps

How should I deal with a rude and mean step Daughter?

Everything is a fight with her. She will not keep her room clean. She tells her dad she hates him and me. I think she blames me for everything wrong in her life.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:11 PM on Oct. 23, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (9)
  • YOU do NOT need to deal with it...SHE NEEDS TO RESPECT and obey her family...

    Answer by iNk-FrEaK at 6:15 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • Sounds like a real gem! I would not put up w/ the disrespect. But you are treading in dangerous waters here. I think her dad, (your husb) needs to step up & tell her how its gonna be. Maybe she needs some counseling to deal w/ her anger issues & the divorce of her parents But she also needs rules & limits. Teenagers are quite the interesting creatures! Good luck.

    Answer by mrsmom110 at 6:17 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • I would sit her butt down and tell her how everything went down and how you guys got hooked up there are always two sides to a story there is no telling what her mom has been saying to her about ya'll.
    And if she lives with you guys things have to change you are the adult and she is the kid don't let her run over you two. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 6:17 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • when you are dealing with her, try to keep in mind that she is a teenage girl. she is probably not much better to her own mother. also keep in mind that she never chose you for a step mother, but you chose her as a step daughter. when you found out your dh had a child you could have walked away, but you did not, so you chose her. she is a teenage girl, and needs her father. he should probably be the main one to deal with her...even if he doesn't like it. she may blame you for her parents split up, but that is also a discussion for her and her father.
    all of this only really applies if you are relatively new to the picture. if you have been raising her since she was like 3, then you treat her as you would your own.

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 6:37 PM on Oct. 23, 2010

  • You may be her Step-mother, but that doesn't give her the right to talk to you the way she does. Your husband is the one that needs to tell her that he expects her to treat you with respect and listen to what you have to tell her. You need to find some common ground with her and maybe she'll come around. She's probably also not taking it well that are parents have divorced, so she is probably still adjusting to that too. But it still doesn't excuse what she's doing.

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:37 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • You need to get to the root...her emotional pain. She possibly is hearing bad things from her mom. Remember her body is changing. Is it around her menstrual? Maybe you can find an opportunity and talk with her. Print out some good information and read it with her when things are going good. Have you tired writting her a letter. I had to do that with my son a few times. One for his birthday and put it on a really nice 8x10 frame on my love for him and my wishes for him. :) Look for opportunities to get down to her heart. Deal with yours first. If you need to let her of any anger for her first do it before you speak to her. Teach her to heal from pain. Teah her about forgiveness and restoration. She will have to learn that when her boyfriend and best friend betray her.

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 11:32 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I'm pretty sure everything else will fall into place. How can you continue to be mean to someone who is sincerely showing you love and compassion. 


    Answer by JCRestoredme at 11:34 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • Also my hubby and I are a blended family 5 kids total. I make sure he spents quality alone time with his 2 girls at least once a day for 3-4 hours. I do the same with my 2 kids from previous relationships. It works out great. :) It makes it easier too when we hit the mall. I just have to stop at stores for 3 kids not 5 kids LOL

    Answer by JCRestoredme at 11:39 AM on Oct. 24, 2010

  • I think you need to reasure her your not trying to be her mom ask her to go out and do something w you get ur feet done or what ever shed like in reason and talk to her show her yeah you can be alot of fun but when shes always acting like a little bitch you don't wanna do things with her and talk her the reason shes being disrespectful is it she thinks ur taking away her daddy from her is it there could be a ton of reasons.

    Answer by myraclemommy at 3:35 PM on Oct. 28, 2010

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